Looking for a light

The Constant

2010-08-05T23:30:00.002+08:00

Life just seems to be passing too fast for me to actually sit down and write anything. Swamped by work from all directions frankly, and its really tough to keep calm and do the thigns I need to do.

The good thing is that every day seems different and unique in its own way. Dats the way I like it actually, always something to look forward to at the end of the day, always something to chase, something to get done.
It can be pretty overhwleming at times, but I am pulling through I guess, just gotta stay calm under pressure.

The good thing is that among the things that change, there are things which stay constant. Things that are simple, beautiful and ever present.

Things that are can sometimes be the worst, but often are the best parts of any day.

Out.

listless

2010-06-24T00:27:00.001+08:00

Life's just passing too fast for me to consolidate and talk about it. I don't like it but what can I do about it, life's like dat.

I spend most of these past few days in a stupor, doing what I have to do but not really feeling much engagement in it, maybe because I am tired most of the time from staying up and watching soccer.

Time flew like a dove

2010-05-29T23:17:00.003+08:00

How time flies, can't believe its been like 11 days since I last wrote, but I figured out better update now. Lots of things happened, the most important of which was dat I actually found out that I won in the coaching category of the POSB champs award. And, yeah made the decision to fly back early, so will be back in 9 days time! I figured that it would be a once in a lifetime kinda opportunity, so managed to move my exams earlier to be able to fly back. Honestly though I never expected to win or anything, I kinda shoved it under the carpet when I found out i was nominated and after sending the supporting documents as well.

Other than dat just been busy packing and studying of cos, next week is gonna be a tough week, exams on tuesday, friday and the monday will be rough, gotta take an exam at 5 and be on the plane by 935 the same night, arriving in the country the next morning. Which reminds me I have to print out my e-ticket!

I think I'll stop here for now, Colby s in Sydney right now, so the house is quiet, just the way I like it, realli hope to have my own place soon soon, cos I like the quietness that being alone brings, although having someone to share it with wouldn't be too bad as well.

The weather is cold now btw! But yeah I am looking forward to going for my second last training tomorrow, but going to school first to study.

Missing all,
Az

Time is Running Out

2010-05-19T08:44:00.002+08:00

Time for a quick post, things are really speeding up in school, before I know it, I only have about 1.5 weeks left in school, and only lessons for like 4 of these remaining days, so yeah really gott akeep up. I have a major submission of a research project this Friday, but other than that, everything seems pretty much in order for the remaining part of this semester.

My IT band is still giving me trouble and discomfort when I run, but at the same time, I am just trying to run a bit everyday, to keep up my fitness, even though my leg starts to hurt whenever I go past 55minutes of running, not somehting good when I have to run about 2.5 hours on June 12.

Oh well, I just gotta try and and stay patient and give myelf adequate rest, hope my leg gets better soon, I guess that is the one major part that is constantly on my mind in these closing weeks in Perth.

It's really sad what is happening in Thailand, I read today about the ppl. using children as human shields in the stand off. Its sad really, but somehow though I disagree with the loss of life, I somewhat agree on the government's stand to not budge. Not necessarily because they're right, but really because if they give in, and the reds take control, the yellow shirts are gonna come in next. So somewhere, something has to stand firm to stop this shit from happening, it has been going on for too long, and we had to go to HK (stupidly) because we couldnt go to Thailand the other time. HK is a nice place, but in erms of providing us the experience needed for a sports team, it fell short.

That's all for now, its 845am over here, and gonna get some work done from home in the mean time.

Missing all,
Az

Briefest of updates

2010-05-07T20:54:00.002+08:00

Sorry I haven't had time to write, just been really busy, lots of things coming in at the same time, but I am trying to be as disciplined as possible, so let me update everybody in point form, cos I gotta rush off in a while.

1. Very proud of our latest batch of VJSG girls, bringing the team to their 5th straight final, and hopefully 4th championship and the first treble in girls football and in A division football as a whole.

2. I got an LCL strain on the outside of my left knee, doesn't hurt that much when i run, but can get very unbearable when I stop running. So I had to scale down my running for this week which is a bit of a disappointment.

3. Work is piling up mid term 2 coming up for data analysis, plus term papers due.

Thats all for now I guess, will update more soon I hope.

Tomorrow is the last match of the EPL. How i wish i could be at a coffeeshop with both screens on and watching!

Out.

A game to remember

2010-04-23T15:55:00.002+08:00

Just thought that I'd write a short entry on the futsal game i had on Wednesday, before its lost from my memory, what with all the other things going on around me. That day our game was against the Raiderz, who were like 4th, so we knew we were up for a tough opponent and an important game.

But yeah it was a game to remember for me cos I scored two goals, one with my left foot, and the other with a bicycle kick. Haha yeah, seriously, I couldnt believe it, that I managed to do it again. I think some of you reading may remember that I had actually done one in the UWA season last semester, and I remember saying that I don't think I will ever do it again in my life.

BUT!

Well it all fell into place, we seemed quite relaxed that day, although I wasn't sure if it was cos we were confident, or it was because we were taking things too easy. We conceeded a goal in like the first 30 seconds, a deflection off steve took ashley the wrong way, and we were down in a matter of seconds. Not a good start.

My first goal was a tap in, after Soren shot fiercely from the right flank, I remember telling myself to stand closely in hope of sticking my foot in, but the keeper got a hand to it. Luckily though, I didn't switch off, and managed to use my left foot to sidefoot it home from close range. I am really happy with how much less scared I am of using my left foot these days. I must admit its still pretty shit, but at least I am not scared of using it anymore, and I know if I continue trying, I will get better at it.

The second goal came, as the defence pushed up and I sneaked behind them. Of cos in futsal there is no offside, so it was basically me and the keeper. My back was facing the keeper cos I wanted to see where the ball was, and Soren chipped the ball high into the D. As the ball was in the air, I knew that the only thing I could do was to bicycle kick it, cos if I turned and volleyed it I would probably end up hitting the keeper, who would be out to claim it. This time round though it was harder cos the ball was coming from a height. Last semester I chested the ball up, so I somehow had some control over the ball prior to the kick, but this time round I had to try and get it in the air.

So i tried, and it caught the tip of my toe, i collapsed in a heap of cos, turned around and saw the ball in the net, the keeper had been going one way, and I had managed to send him the other way. Was really really happy, and JT went all the way to my side just to give me a high-five.

Don't get me wrong I am not trying to blow my own horn but I just wanna keep these memories in my blog, so that when I read it a few years from now, I can feel happy and look back on these fond memories. Isn't that the purpose of a blog anyways? Like a diary to look back upon and cherish?

I really am enjoying playing at Lords and with the guys. Its funny cos they are so much bigger than I am, and all European, and the opponents are all caucasians as well, yet at the same time, I feel good cos I am improving. I've never been really good at futsal, or small-sided games, but I think joining the team and playing in the comp has been good exposure for me. More importantly the physical nature of the game has made me a stronger player, and I have been able to apply it to trainings on Sunday.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself, to be able to play soccer so often, and pursue a high level of education, it feels nice.

I'll leave it right here for now.

Out.

What a week

2010-04-19T12:42:00.002+08:00

Its been one hell of a past week, and I have had a million things to do, but thank God I managed to pull thru, so let me run thru with you the things that I had to do this week.

1) Lessons
It was back to school again after a week's break over Easter, so it needed a bit of readjusting, although the Easter week was pretty much packed, and lessons started again, so had to get used to the usual lecturing and listening thing going on. I am realli happy I am left with just 6-7 weeks more of lectures an sitting down, and listening. Basically one-way input. Profs always say they want a proactive and interactive atmosphere, but at the end of the day its just a token question or two, and you spend most of it listening, so here's to a life of meetings, research and independent study. Realli looking forward to it. 60 more days!

2) Exams
Had two exams, Advanced Psych of sport, and Reserch Methods, and I came away from the paper feeling ok enough. Not supremely confident, but yeah at least I knew that I understood my stuff and did my best in answering, so overall it was ok. I struggle a bit in studying for advanced psych though cos of the limited time I had, I realise its tough when you have two papers, and you can't realli study hard for the later one cos you have your mind fixed on settling the first one. But yeah, a 4 hour sleep did the trick, and I hope I come away with decent results. I realise I have set myself high expectations, but I don't doubt they are achievable if I put in my best.

3) Running
This week's training saw about 61km worth of running, which I am fairly happy with, managed to do a negative split on most runs, and that's always an important thing to me. The 20km run on thursday was especially sweet as I broke under the 30min mark to reach the top of kings' park so that was good, although I think it was partly due to the fact that I realli whacked from the start. But yeah running is good, and it was a good ending to my pre-season part 1, so this week is gonna be a bit more relaxing before I go on pre-season part 2. By Sunday though as I was doing my recovery run, I could really feel myself struggle as the mileage for the week had taken its tool on me. That being said though, I am still a long way off from being able to run 2hour plus runs comfortably. But I will get there.

4) Soccer
At first I realli din want to play on Wednesday, cos of the exam on thursday, but when one of the players had to pull out, i really felt obliged to turn up for the team, especially since we have been getting stronger and found some form in the comp. Plus the fact that my Danish friend Soren could give me a lift there and back meant that I would have needed 1 hour of my time tops. It was a good decision and we won 6-2, which puts us nicely in the upper half of the table. Training on Sunday was also fun, cos all the regulars were around, and despite being quite exhausted from the whole week, I had a good training, and enjoyed myself. I am quite sad to be leaving the team in like 6-7 weeks time, especially since I may not come during the finals exam period.

5) Work from home
I had some stuff to settle from home, I actully have been working on a contract basis with projects from home since I have been here, and had some fine-tuning to do with this project which is especially tedious cos its government related, so yeah really had a lot of things to settle. Also had to settle some recommendation letters but it was all good. Recc. letters are easy to right because most of the time you write them for the people you genuninely like and respect so the words just flow.

All in all it was a heck of a week, and I really tried my best to chill out and lay back a little during the weekend. Right now back in school its back to the hard work but I am taking it in my stride. I think it really makes a difference to be able to do something one loves, cos it builds up a certain amount of resilience in yourself. I ask myself, would I want to be studying anything else? The answer is no.

Hope everyone is well in the meantime.

Out.

Feeling lucky?

2010-04-16T21:09:00.002+08:00

I just managed to catch a show on Aussie TV on SBS. SBS is a cool channel its something like national geog, history channel, discovery channel all rolled into one, and its free! So there are the shows I like such as mythbusters and Man vs Wild, as well as "boutique" shows ( i call them boutique cos they are like rare, and don't have much commercial appeal) like hitler's bodyguard, a show on the assassination attempts on Hitler, a show about toys around the world, forgot the title, and one i just saw about an attempt to form a team of disabled peopleto take part in the Sydney to Hobart Ocean race.

It was realli inspiring to see these ppl try and do something that a lot of us more abled people probably may not dare to.

Which brings me to the point of this post. There are times in the day and in my life where i absolutely despise the way i am. Don't get me wrong, self-loathing is never good thing, but there are times when I hate myself. Let me explain.

Sometimes things don't go my way, and those of you who know me and my life well enough, will know that the odds are sometimes against me, and I do have the right to complain.

But when I do see people who are truly struck with misfortunes that were never their fault, and not complaining about it, I just and i honestly do, start scolding myself for being a very ungrateful person. Some people are born blind, some born without limbs, yet they don't complain. And i feel horrible really when I think about the times that I feel my life is not good, or good enough.

The truth is people, there will always be others who are better off than you. But the point of this, is to remember that there are a lot of people worse off than you as well. And this is something, at 26 years of age, I still need to remind myself everyday.

And in a way it has motivated me to look at certain things when I get back home. I realli feel I haven't contributed enough to the community at large. I love what has happened at VJSG, and I'd like to think that I had a small part in it, but yeah I think its also time to move on to affecting larger people.

At the same time, I need to constantly remind myself of how lucky I am, and I hope you do too, whoever you are.

I saw a wheelchair bound guy today, who got rejected from being on the crew, and he said, "I think about this and of course I'm disappointed. But I look at myself, and I remember how lucky I am. There are so many people worse off than me, and 99 percent of disabled people aren't as lucky as me." - this coming from a man paralysed waist down.

Out.

Don't Forget Me

2010-04-14T15:11:00.003+08:00

I was just humming to myself this song by RHCP, seroiusly one of the finer bands around, AND one of the few bands I've actually managed to watch live. I realli like watching things live, but due to my cheapskateness, I dont actually get around to watching them unless I find it really worth it.

The song is called "Don't forget me" from their "By the way" album.

I love how the song switches from a low energy laid-back vibe, to a realli high octane performance, and of course with John Frusciante's screaming, moaning solo ( super sad that he has left the band), wat more do you want. And of course the signature strum of muted strings on Flea's bass guitar. I also love the dark imagery they use to describe his relationship to the girl, its kinda dark, yet in a morbid way actually longing and romantic in nature. Realli cool.

This is the live version from their show from Slane Castle. I love how they always always improvise when they play. I remember them playing at Singapore Indoor Stadium, and how they just seamlessly switched from song to song, without stoppping at all. Musicianship at its best. It realli made me realise that all the skill and talent cannot make up for this inate chemistry and musicianship that a lot of the bands who have been around for a long while have managed to attain.

Brilliant song.

I'm an ocean in your bedroom
Make you feel warm
Make you want to re-assume
Now we know it all for sure

I'm a dance hall dirty breakbeat
Make the snow fall
Up from underneath your feet
Not alone, I'll be there
Tell me when you want to go

I'm a meth lab first rehab
Take it all off
And step inside the running cab
There's a love that knows the way

I'm the rainbow in your jail cell
All the memories of
Everything you've ever smelled
Not alone, I'll be there
Tell me when you want to go

Sideways falling
More will be revealed my friend
Don't forget me
I can't hide it
Come again make me excited

I'm an inbred and a pothead
Two legs that you spread
Inside the tool shed
Now we know it all for sure

I could show you
To the free field
Overcome and more
Will always be revealed
Not alone, I'll be there
Tell me when you want to go

Sideways falling
More will be revealed my friend
Don't forget meI can't hide it
Come again get me excited

I'm the bloodstain
On your shirt sleeve
Coming down and more are coming to believe
Now we know it all for sure

Make the hair stand
Up on your arm
Teach you how to dance
Inside the funny farm
Not alone, I'll be there
Tell me when you want to go

Out.

My daily rounds

2010-04-12T21:01:00.003+08:00

I actually have sometime on my hands rite now, just letting the dinner go down a bit, so I decided to write a blog entry about the websites I usually visit when I am online. I think all of us have a general list of webbies we go thru when we have time on the net. I dunno, I'm not the sort of person to surf randomly or go to random blogs. So here we go!

(in no particular order)

www.redcafe.net

This is a popular manchester united forum, and its realli reall active, so there are always new things to read, some really good articles put up by fans as well.

My Mail!

www.hotmail.com

www.yahoo.com

my.uwa.edu.au

My two normal emails, as well as the UWA mail, but yeah I guess I should list them down even though its pretty obvious.

www.soccernet.com

This is a must go, cos yeah its got some pretty good articles, beyond just the match reports, the columns by the writers are a must read. Thus far, gotta be the best soccer website there is around. The gamecast feature is pretty useful as well, its pretty comprehensive and gives you almost instant updates of the matches, so I usually tune in to gamecast before moving to watch the last 15 min on streaming.

www.singaporedaily.net

I used to go to different websites which were concerned with singapore politics and matters at home. Then i went to this webbie, and realised they did a good job in actually collating all the different pieces of news about home, as well as pieces from different blog sites. Sometimes the pieces are realli quite extreme, but yeah i always believe that there is no smoke without a fire, so there would be some truth somewhere, just a matter of how you interpret it.

www.stomp.com.sg

Ha, pls dont judge me on this, but realli when you have nothing much to do, you tend to wanna look at the voyeuristic side of Singaporeans. But yeah its a crap side so strictly just to pass time.

www.wikipedia.org

I go to this site almost all the time, trying to look at cool facts behind movies, and its always kinda cool that you will find something else to click on, and it just goes on and on. I dunno how true the stuff on wiki is, but yeah its always nice to read.

www.redsports.sg

I used to look at this site a lot, but then there haven't been much coverage on sports in vj so far, so I go less these days.

www.bolasepako.com

A site that I go to to catch up on local football news, the guy is realli committed to the blog, and its realli heartening to see his efforts on it.

www.tmz.com

www.pinkisthenewblog.com

Hollywood gossip anyone? Yeah I head here to read about stuff happening in tinsel town, which is pretty interesting at times. TMZ especially has like updates by the minute, live streams and stuff like that. Pretty cool, and of cos always good entertainment.

Hmmm, i will leave it at this for now, cos i need to go and do work. Hope you take some time to look at these sites, if you're ever bored.

Out.

Never forget please

2010-04-09T23:20:00.003+08:00

I love this song, it reminds me of so many things but yeah just thought that I'll put it on here, cos the words are apt.

Regina spektor is awesome.

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
The bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But there just soft light, there just soft light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
He told me i was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me till the morning light, the morning light
and he kissed me till the morning light

Samson came back to bed
not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

The Morning After

2010-04-04T11:14:00.002+08:00

I hate trying to sleep after a man u loss. And I am officially not going to Burswood to watch anymore soccer, my record there has been abysmal, so I am just gonna stream stuff or go to Alex's place for cable if worse come to worse.

Honestly though, we din deserve anything out of that match, maybe even a draw would have been too kind for us. I dunno, I am just trying to be realistic. But its pretty much true.

There used to be a time when I saw man u lose, and I consoled myself by telling myself that at least it wasn't VJSG who was losing, and it worked realli well. But now that that part of life is gone, its much harder to deal with it in dat sense. Although I would say I don't really take it as hard. Perhaps I guess at least in reference to yesterday, there were other more pressing issues that were making me more upset.

So i slept at about 1130pm, and woke up today at about 10 plus. Not bad lar, almost 12 hours. Today theres gonna be a soccer friendly later and then I am gonna spend most of today doing work I guess, nothing much else there is to it.

I guess on a bright side of things, running this week has been better, I hope it will get better, but it was good this week, getting a rhythm, and covering about 54km throughout the week. I guess the key will be to just hold this so that by the end of the month I would be have covered 60-65 in one week, which would be a good base to build upon for the race.

Hmmm, lastly on a personal-life side of things:

1) I think that I can never do things the simple way, or rather my life has never been bout doing things simply, somehow I always have to complicate things, or there will always be extraneous factors complicating things, so its never clear-cut, I dunno what I would do for a simple clear-cut, no frills, straight-forward kinda r'ship. Not that I feel I am being owed one, but sometimes i realli feel that the chips just refuse to fall the right way

2) Sometimes the things I want are unattainable, and most of it is thru my un-doing. When I come to think of it, I am realy quite a complicated person and that has had an impact on who I am close to, or who I can get close to, whom I can develop close relationships with and who I can't. I realise that the moment ppl know me and the inner workings of me, they don't really like it so much and it pisses them off. Thus, most of my good r'ships going on now, are usually a result of me not being "fake" per se, but rather just withholding the nature of my complicated psyche.

But dont get me wrong people, its all good in the land of me. I am not depressed or whatsoever, having perused psychological literature for the past 5 years has taught me to use such terms for when they are really valid. I think all of us have things on our chest that we wish to get off, and well this is just one way, and these days my only way of doing it. I guess its not very appropriate when I figure that ppl may stumble on it, but you make what you want out of it. It's cool.

Out.

Comfortable

2010-03-29T22:51:00.002+08:00

I've listened to this song since I was like 18 I am not wrong, and only today as I was listening to it for the umpteenth time while waiting for the bus, did I really concentrate and listen to the words, and realise the true meaning of the song. And yeah I realise the little nuances in the song which I never realised before.

I din realise before this that he actually was with another girl, and that he was actually not fond of her, but yeah now its like so clear. Ha, its amazing sometimes, just a few minutes of clarity can help you understand something u never bothered with for close to 8 years.

I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you
to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me,
if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl
i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve,
say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives

She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party and
she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguishMiles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect,
so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can't see the smile
that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures
that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants,
no makeup,
so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed,
I want you back.

-John Mayer, Comfortable

Out.

Note to self

2010-03-27T15:10:00.002+08:00

Sry just a moment of catharsis from me.

Why do all of them just insist on letting you down? You think at times there is really no point giving your heart away if everytime all you are doing is setting yourself up for failure, for disappointment, for resentment, for despair, helplessness, a myriad of negative emotions that you cannot even to label but only feel and realise that it exists because you wake up each morning feeling like taking your heart out, giving it a nice clean scrub and forgetting it was ever damaged.

Why do they always think that they are the only ones whose heart was hurt, that everything that has, is and will transpire somehow only happened to them and that they didn't deserve it. Then again who does? Surely you don't as well.

Somehow, after 26 years you would have think that meandering through matters like this would make you more hardened, more seasoned and less susceptible at being hurt. But at the end of the day you are still that same vulnerable young boy who gets his heart cut deep. Its always like that.

So now you're faced with 2 choices.

1) You carry on, getting yourself into things that will keep hurting, you don't forget, and you embrace everything that comes your way, you love, you hurt, you laugh and you cry, you live each day not knowing how high or low it might take you
2) You don't think about it,and you decide to leave it all behind, your lonely, you don't have companionship and kinship, someone to share a life with, BUT you know that nobody can hurt but yourself and that will be the best bet at staying happy

The choice is yours, but just remember that everytime you feel happy, you are just a step away from losing it all and coming out of it with nothing.

They don't get it don't they? You're not perfect but neither are they?

But its always your fault, and your burden to carry.

Out.

Perth's Great Storm

2010-03-26T15:31:00.003+08:00

It started off like any normal day, I reached school in the morning for a meeting as well as Advanced Psych class, but my mind was slightly on edge cos of the Data Analysis Mid-term I had later on in the day. The weather was fine, even slightly hot, an it was the last thing on my mind. Also, Monday is my rest day, so I don't really think about the weather cos I know I wasn't gonna go out and run or whatever.

Anyways, the DA exam started at about 4pm, and I went into the comp lab, ok lar relaxing, I saw the questions, was a bit nervous but I knew what I was doing and started the paper pretty smoothly. About 1/4 way through, I heard a thump in the ceiling. Now at this time, I heard the win howling outside, so I figured it must be something like flapping against the ceiling or the wall. Then I hear more and more thumps and in about 10 minutes it turned into a complete riot! It was really noisy but I just kept telling myself that it was probably something knocking against something else cos of the win and nothing else. I mean being in Perth has been eye-opening in terms of how ferocious the wind can be, but other than that it was no surprise.

Then the door to the comp lab opened slightly an the prof was asked to go out. Again I din pay any attention to it, I was really focused on the exam, and then he told us we had to evacuate the building. Now this was the first inkling I had that it was something more major than I thought, but again, I just dismissed it as like a safety precaution. Having been raised in Singapore, we are used to the concept of being Kiasi, so it was nothing to me.

Then as I walked out the door, it struck me. The front of the school courtyard was covered, absolutely covered with branches and leaves. The open field beside the school was white, with hail stones. I was damn shocked, never seen hail stones that big before!

I went back inside school and grabbed my bag to go out and leave, hahaha little did i know this was just the start of the whole thing. I met my friend Ali, who lived close to school, and his car was half buried in water. But he told me to hurry home cos another storm was coming. Rushed to the bus stop outside school and you could really sense things were gonna pick up again. Rained like shit, and I was drenched despite having an umbrella. Couldnt even go use the underpass cos it was flooded knee deep in like cold icy water. Absolutely incongruent this whole thing was, so jay walked and waited for the bus.

My bus trip takes about 11 minutes, but we were stuck inside the bus for 1hour 10 minutes. Everywhere around me, I saw cars on kerbs, trees fallen down, flooded driveways with cars under about a meter of water. Traffic lights all down. It was absolute chaos. Inside the bus, it was different though, cos all the uni students were inside so many of them were talking cock, and I just listened in. But the bus driver was an idiot! First, he didn't turn off the aircon despite ppl shouting at him to, cos I mean we were all wet, so naturally the last thing u need was air con. Secondly, he refused to open the doors until he was right in front of the freaking stop! WTF!!! And I mean when your stuck in traffic, 10m could take 5 minutes.

Crap, anyways I called Colby, and he agreed to fetch me, which was awesome of him, cos when we reached home......

about 1/2 the house was soaked in water, even though we lived on the 3rd floor. Cos we have a skylight in the toilet, and obviously it broke with the pressure of the hail stones. Water also came directly into Colby's room, and his whole room was a mess, soaked in water. The Balcony doors also sustained damaged and water came in. Still I am eternally grateful to Colby for abandoning his salvage efforts so he could take me home from the bus stop, which was about ten min walk from home.

Anyways, all in all, wat a day dat was seriously. Never seen anything like it, and I spoke to a lot of locals about it they havent seen something like dat for like 20 years.Even then what shocked everybody was the freakish nature of it! It just came without warning.

Now about 4 days later, the underpass is still flooded, as the water will probably take about another 2 weeks to completely evaporate on its own. Most ppl's cars look like golf balls with dimples and such, and the UWA winthrop building, the centrepiece of our university's architecture sustained millions of dollars in damage cos the windows were gone. Smashed. The greenhouses all smashed. Arts library flooded. Landslides also caused some houses to be almost buried in mud, and hundreds of thousands of homes were without power, some still don't have power cos of the lightning striking power stations. in Altogether I think they said the damage is in the hundreds of millions. And the insurance claims will only be sorted out completely 2 years from now, that's how long a claims list it is.

Just grateful that things are back to normal, and dat we don't have to fork out any money. The house is still a mess now as Colby's room is still drying out (4 days later). But yeah its ok. Thanks to ah beng, uni, ben leo for asking me how i was. I am just glad im safe, and more importantly there were zero casualties. Here are some photos for you guys.

The school field covered in hail stones and some ppl playing with them.
The hail stones in my hands, after melting for about 15-20 minutes, imagine how big they actually were.

Streets covered in leaves and fallen branches.

A pile of hail stones near the school walls, it was really like as if God switched on an ice-maker.

My friends car which survived the hail, but not the water.

Well dats all for now,

Out.

2010-03-20T23:47:00.002+08:00

Its saturday night, and honestly there are some good movies on, but just dat I din wanna watch them cos I've seen them already (the departed for example, seen it twice, and the original infernal affairs as well). So yeah just decided to pen my thoughts on the past week.

1) Fees going up for uni - again. I hope my brother can get a scholarship or something something that will help my parents out, cos its tough man, one of the reasons why I don't really favour having kids. The cost of uni is realli enormous.

2) My ankle getting better, luckily cos of the quick response to the injury, I feel almost as good as new, less than a week later, but I am not going for soccer tomorrow cos I still feel I am one bad tackle away from an even worse injury, so gonna give it the skip

3) Running has been good, doing some research on how to improve my running posture and stuff, and its hard to change it, but I feel it getting easier to make certain changes to fine tune my running and all. I realise that after a while your fitness can only improve so much, and its all about finding the running economy needed, looking forward to the 30click run in June, but in the mean time its all about making all these small changes

4) Facebook statuses - I know i shouldnt complain since I read it, but sometimes I feel that FB statuses of certain ppl are just cries for attention, I dunno I guess to each his own, but honestly I guess it just satisfies that voyeuristic need inside each of us

I will stop at that for now, keep my posts a lot crisper and tighter that way. Got an exam on Monday, the first one of the semester, so been preparing hard for it, on top of getting other stuff done as we get into the middle month of this semester. Its been a month since I've been here, and yeah 3 more to make things count.

Out.

I am BACK

2010-03-17T11:57:00.002+08:00

Hmmm, I know i know, its been like about 3.5 months since my last blog post, I always wanted to do it, although I told myself that I wasn't gonna blog much when I was back in Singapore. So yeah, I remember Phil requesting that I start again and I will! But I guess I will keep it shorter this time around, cos I need more time to do work. But basically since school started, this is the first patch of space to breathe in, cos its just been such a rush since I've been back here. So let me put in pointform, the things that happened over the past 3.5 months, just for a quick catch up, and I will slowly elaborate on certain points as we go along in the year.

1) I came back for a pre-meditated but surprise visit back to Singapore

2) Didn manage to do the one thing I wanted to do cos of certain complications but spent my time training the boys team instead, which was a gr8 pleasure

3) Had plenty of private free lance work going, including lecturing which took up a lot of my time when I was back

4) plenty of complications, ups and downs on the personal life front

5) Spent a good time totally disillusioned with whether it was the right thing to come back

6) Came back to perth refreshed and ready for the term

7) Inundated with work from Singapore at the same time, so was quite hard to cope

8) Finally had time to settle my Singapore work so am now focusing on my work here in UWA

Hmmm, I think that is basically it for now, in terms of the significant things that have happened so far. I will try update more I think I will set wednesdays as my update day, will see how.

Anyways, till later matez!

Out.

Man @ Work

2009-11-29T15:18:00.006+08:00

I just thought that it'd be good to show you guys my work here in Perth. Basically I am employed by the Bank of Queensland Corporate Challenge, and we run competitions for office workers during lunch time in the city.

Its a really cool gig, good pay, great people, and of cos dealing with sport, I mean its perfect. The weather is sometimes a bother as we conduct our actitivites during mid-day but the lack of humidity and the breeze often makes up for it. So here I will leave you with some pictures.

For this season, we are organising volleyball, so yeah the first aprt is setting up the volleyball pitches like so, which includes the nets and the stands.

These are the people whom i work with, the guy in white is Ben, the guy in the white cap is Chris, and the husband (beside the van) and Janice (at the table). So yeah here we finished the nets and courts and doing the rest of the staff.

Aren't our banners the best!

The office workers start streaming in around 12 noon for the first round of matches (we have 3 rounds of 7 concurrent matches).

I love the sight of this, so many ppl taking trouble to come down and play and keep fit during lunch time, something you will never see happening in Singapore.

A superb team in pink, those shirts were actually in commemoration of "cycle to work" day.
Superb. This guy didn't even change out of his business wear and started playing.

And finally, this is the same field after we packed everything in, and me walking out.

Missing all,

Two Things

2009-11-27T11:17:00.003+08:00

This post has two things which I wanna highlight about the recent going-ons here in Aussie.

Sending Haiyum Off

First was saying goodbye to my friend Haiyum, who is returning to Singapore for good after 5 years over here in Perth. I only knew him this semester but suffice to say I couldn't have gone thru the semester (so far not too shabbily) without him. There are actually 6 people who are in the postgraduate room, but he is the one who is most frequent in the office, so yeah I would say that he is he closest post-graduate to me, literally and figuratively speaking.

I guess from now on it will be quite lonely in the office, cos most of the time it will probably be just me. Haiyum is actually 36 this year, and I really respect him for taking the hard step to go out to a foreign country and try and upgrade himself. The only other person whom I know did that was my mom, who finished her bachelors at the age of 43, so I am very priveleged to know such people in my life.

He also told me that he was not going to sell-out, and he was alright with a decent paying job as long as it allowed him to do what he loved. An attitude that I respect, and I wonder myself if I can not sell-out as well, cos yeah selling out is a pretty common thing in Singapore, especially if you're taking a generic degree, but anyway, thats another matter.

So yeah I sent him off on Wednesday night at the airport, and I could see he was quite sad because yeah its been his home for the past 5 years so I would understand too. Well at least he is coming back to his wife. Also, he lives near Jaslyn's place which for those of you who know where I live would know is about 5 min drive from my place. So yeah hope I get to meet up with him.

But of course I wil always remember his work ethic, which I feel was a real inspiration to me, so I hope to be able to work hard or as hard when he is not around in this coming semester.

Half Marathon

The other thing that I have been preparing for is doing my first half-marathon run, I'm not aiming for much because I have never finished that distance in my life before, but I would say that if I can come under the 1:45 barrier, I would be proud of myself. I can't say for sure that I have trained very hard. Its hard to train alone most of the time, cos you can't pace anyone, but I have been working consistently over the past 3 months, making sure my core is strong, and also that I cover the mileage consistently each week. I guess the one stumbling block would be the vicious Perth wind, which can really slow you down. Most of the time the headwind picks up on the way back, so you have to take advantage of the tail wind when you feel it behind you.

I will share more when I get back, leave you with some pics of the running route, taken off the internet, cos obviously I won't take any when I am running.

Most of the run (about 19km of it) will be along the Swan River, and the backdrop will be the cityline.

I will then go across a bridge known as the Causeway (duno why I cannot find the picture on the internet, to cross over from the City side to South Perth side (which is where the photo above was taken from, and will start running southwards to the Narrows bridge, which you see below.

This is the second bridge that I will cross, the Narrows bridge, which goes back over the river, so I will run from the left to right, back onto the UWA side and head back to UWA which is towards the top-right of this picture (can't be seen from this pic).

So yeah, alright I shall go now, pack and head to school for prayers. Here's hoping for a smooth run, and the meeting of targets.

Missing all,

Trip to Mandurah (21/11/09)

2009-11-25T20:49:00.007+08:00

Alright so here's some pictures from my trip to Mandurah. Basically its the southernmost station on the train line, anything more southerly of that will need independent bus charters, such as Albany, where Colby comes from. But anyways here's a look at the place. Enjoy!

This is the first sight that greets you once u get off the shuttle bus in Mandurah, basically, its kind of an enclave, and condos on the other side.

The river was quite dry, and yeah there were gulls and all on the dried parts closer to the shore.

And of cos the odd small boy walking around as well.

This is the inside or rather the lobby area of the performing arts centre in Mandurah. They were having a free arts exhibition, so I decided to come in and take a look.

Inside the exhibition hall. The paintings were oil paintings of this nearby place called Margaret River.

This, to me was the highlight of the whole trip. Went to this new development, which was kinda modelled after a Venice theme. The houses are to the right, and yes, you can just park your boat at the back of your house and walk up, straight into your home. WATTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

Another view of the houses here, I think you must be filthy rich to live here man.

Another view from just outside a house, imagine walking behind your house and seeing this. Realli, WOW.

Something random at the side of the street. A HUGEE chair, and a terracota soldier replica.

Just a cool art piece in the middle of Mandurah.

Of cos can't go anywhere without a trip to the bach. Look at the sand, beautiful absolutely, miles of this type of fine sand.

Sail boats in the distance.

I can never get sick of the view of an empty horizon, just makes you feel that you are so small in the bigger scheme of things.

Another great view of the beach.

Just a random flag pole, you see the Aussie flag at the top, the Aboriginal flag to its right, and the state flag to the left.

I guess if there is a way to describe the vibe I get from Mandurah, would be like if the boat quay area was changed to a residential area. They had lots of stuff along the river and of cos the shore nearby as well. A relaxing place really, and I had a good time looking at everything there. Plus it was just about 45 min from Perth so wasn't that far as well.

Missing all, and sorry about the hair (vicious wind),

Scarborough Beach

2009-11-22T20:36:00.006+08:00

We kinda had a spontaneous barbecue and it was great cos unlike in Singapore, the pits here actually run on gas and electric, so all you have to do is press a button, and the pit starts heating up, realli good, it takes away the fact that you have to walk away from every BBQ in Singapore smelling like a smoke. But then again, wats a BBQ without it? Alright shall leave you with the pics.

As promised here are pictures of Scarborough Beach. Had a great time with my aunty and her family. And I was amazed at the site of long sandy beaches, and most importantly, a clear horizon. Was great.

There are some dunes before the actual beach, and could see the wild rabbits running around these dunes.

And then you come to Scarborough beach, endless stretch of sand. Was a Friday some more but had very little people on the beach, which was great.

Other pictures of the beach. Beautiful.

The sun setting in the distance, it realli sank very fast so I was lucky to get it.

The sun almost going beneath the horizon. The spot on the right is a person doing kite surfing.

Missing all form down under,

P.S. Stay tuned for pictures from my trip to Mandurah.

This is Home (for now)

2009-11-20T20:37:00.006+08:00

I haven't posted in a while cos of the lack of time, but no more excuses. I've finally settled down in school, my next thing at hand is the half marathon on Friday, 27th 2009, which will also be the swansong of my Adizeros, which have realli served me faithfully. Anyways, enough talk, I need to put up some pics. Here are some pics of my room and my house!

My room with the stripes, makes my bed look larger than it realli is. But yeah, have a nice view from the window, cos its up on the third floor.

This is another view of my room, with my study table, and also the built in cupboard in the room. Also, got the book shelf for all my soccer books and school stuff.

This is the kitchen, with an oven, an electric stove, toaster, boiler, all equipped, and a nice parquet floor to boot!

Another view of my kitchen, this part looks into the living room, with the fridge, microwave oven as well as the rice cooker. So my little kitchen is pretty well-equipped I feel.

This is the view from the sofa in my place, balcony is to the right, but yeah you can see the Wii, the radio, the TV, tape player, which we use very very frequently to tape stuff, can't believe we're still using it, but it works fine.

This is where I spend most of the day if I am at home, either on the laptop, or using the exercise ball and weights you see on the left of the picture. On the left of the sofa, you can see Colby's DVD collection and then our balcony which looks into the refurbished poon at our place.

Just thought I'd start posting regularly again. I just got back from Scarborough beach so will put those pics up soon and going to Mandurah tomorrow, so more pics to come!

Missing all,
Az

Dont Stop Now

2009-11-06T22:48:00.002+08:00

What a tiring day today is, and the thing is it is far from over for me, cos I still have loads of reading to do! Let me start.

I did my 8km in the morning, and during the last part decided to go really fast and.....Hamstring, just felt it go, shit my whole left leg went numb. Hate the feeling, so have to nurse it AND miss soccer a second week in a row, cos I realli dont wanna re-pull the damn thing.Also means I cant do the last run for the week, so will have to just be stuck doing circuit and stuff. Oh well, maybe I should lighten up a bit on the trg, I have committed to making the Half marathon run on Friday 27 November at 3pm, so stay tuned for an entry of my preparation for it!!

Finished up my proposal in the afternoon and went to Uniprint to print. Worse thing is that somehow today super crap the people in front of me were all printing and binding 300-400 page documents!!! So I stood in line for ages, especially cos they had only one person serving all of us. Super super frustrating.

So anyways, Ia ctualyl just woke up from a nap, cos I really felt super tired today. Tomorrow I am still considering about going to school, cos basically I can do what I need to do here, just that need to have the discipline to stay off the laptop and off the bed. I dont mind going to school, but just that its a trip there and back, but I figured out either Sat or Sun I must turn in at school, gotta show some commitment.

I must admit that I am quite tired from everything, and I am glad that I have well effectively 4 more days to go. But I also feel I am tired because I have really given everything. Academically, I am very very happy with myself, cos I have really put in effort, even more so than my Bachelor's. But yeah I guess the motivation is there for me.

Alright I shall leave it at this, I will take a bath and get ready to start on studying.

Missing all,
Az

A Week of Ups and Downs

2009-10-27T17:49:00.002+08:00

The past week has been realli busy and packed, but my apologies for not taking the time to write earlier, I actually just finished a run, so am doing entry up in between my circuit sets rest time. Anyways last week was awesome for a couple of reasons:

1) Finishing up work due
I finally ended the school term and I finished all my work on time, the last week, week 13 was crazy cos had 4 major submissions. So I decided to hand up 2 of them earlier, even though it was due on Friday. Which goes against my normal behvaiour realli, cos I usually have the habit of holding on to a piece of work all the way till as close as possible to the due date, never mind if its finished already. But somehow I decided that I wasn;t gonna make anymore changes so I handed up the first two. Friday came and I felt kinda satisfied that as everybody around me was rushing stuff, I was sitting back a bit, relaxing, perhaps knowing that I had already completed my work. I guess in the larger scheme of things I am just happy I didn't do things like I did during Bachelors, always leaving it to the last minute, then again, I had a bit less time in the past as well due to all the different commitments.

2) Winning the championship
And so it was, after 13 weeks of competition, we managed to win the UWA 5-a-side competition. We didn;t have our strongest team the other though, cos Soren was away in Korea and Darren had class, but we made do. Overall I think we did well, most imptly we produced results against all the big teams, beating all of them wherelse they cancelled each other out with draws and such. The team defended realli well in the final, and we were all over the opposition, everytime they got the ball they were covered by us, so I think all in all it was a deserved victory in the final and also a deserved victory due to the consistency we showed throughout the league period. The guys are already talking about defending the title in the summer comp, but I am a little reluctant honestly cos there are other things that I wish to do, like coaching, as well as the logistical troubles we had like interms of calling the people down and such.

But the end of the week was tempered with two bad things:

1) Injured during trg
We were scrimmaging during training when I jarred my ankle really badly against the ground. I could barely lock it after that and struggled a bit more before calling it quits. But overall, at certain angles my left ankle hurts, and it sux though cos I was finally achieving my goal of using more of my left foot during trg, and this had to happen. Oh well, what to do, anyways I think i'll be missing trg (for the first time in like 4 months) cos I realli need to rest the ankle. Running is ok, struggling a bit, but flexing it at odd angles is a definite no-no.

2)Man U Losing
Its frustrating when we lose cos we just cannot seem to get into gear. The team never got out of second gear on Sunday and paid for it dearly. Rio looks like he lost about ten yards of pace, and yeah we look thin in MF as well as in attack. Not sure how its gonna turn out, the season I mean, but a loss against Pool never fails to hurt. And its the 3rd straight loss some more. Watching it at the sports bar was awesome, but it also meant that the Scousers were out in full force to taunt us after the match. Oh well, thats all part of sport lar, take it in our stride. But just hope Man U wakes up soon.

I think you know you've written one too many papers when u start bloggin in a proper, organised format. Oh well, I've spent most of today in the office doing work, and I thought abotu staying till later, but I think I'll head home and continue work at home, cos I wanna get some food in as well.

Will put one or two pics up from the match when I can. In the mean time, school's out, exams are coming!

Missing all,
Az

Finals Football

2009-10-15T00:20:00.001+08:00

Alright well I am a little tired, but I am happy to say that finals football is on its way again. We played a great game today, although the defence was rather shaky, and won the game 5-3. It was a great game realli end-to-end stuff, so now its all about the 7 days to the finals. Hard to keep my mind off it, but because I have so much other work to do I guess time will pretty much fly and before I know it it will be the last wednesday of the season. Alright I will stop here for now, should go to sleep soon.

Missing all,
Az

Sweet Disposition

2009-10-09T23:16:00.003+08:00

So we ended of the last game of the league with an empathic 9-0 win. The opponents were really sporting though, they never gave up and they just kept going at us. But yeah the football we played that day was really good, smooth, flowing and our passing was just spot on. So this coming week we are playing against the 3rd place team for a spot in the finals, crossing my fingers all the players will be fit and we play well against them. But I mean if we don't and we lose, I wont be disappointed (well no longer than a day) considering we are a new team and all, we've done well to finish second with an 8-2 record. I managed to sneak in 5 goals also somehow so I'm pretty proud of myself, not exactly a goal machine in most cases.

Other than that, this week was crazy, overnighted in school to study for the exam, which ended up being pretty tough and all. So I didn't leave it feeling too comfortable but the good news is that I am done with the essay, the presentation and one final exam paper down, so its all good I guess. I am tempted to start a bit of work after this but then again also feel like resting, I guess in these final fortnight of school the weekends gotta go as well, to make sure the work is done. Next week is alright, only one proposal due, which I am almost done with. But week 13 is super massive, just as bad as the past week 11.

Oh well dats all for now, I will be going to fremantle again tomorrow for some seafood with David and Lee, my soccer mates so dats what I am looking forward to most.

I'm glad you guys got my video, as usual scruffy and stuff but ok lar its the msg that counts rite? Sry my English is like quite cleaned up though, I din realise also until I played it back and realised I was talking very prim and properly.

Missing all,
Az

P.S. The title of this post is just a random song that has been playing in my head since lunch

The Buck Stops Here

2009-10-03T16:33:00.003+08:00

What a crap fucking day. Itz amazing how events 3000km away can pretty much ruin your day for you, but its exactly whats happening here. Things are fine over here, I've been on top of my work, results are good, and I have a good place to stay in, and a reasonable social circle, enough for me at least. The sun's out, weather is beautiful, its just one of those days that you think "Hey, what a great day to wake up to!".

Unfortunately, I just gotta sound off about things at home over here, truth be told things at Lombardi arent good, I'm trying my best over here, but there really isn't much that I can do, cos the people who can do something about it, dont have that extra push in them to do it. Then again its not their fault, cos this whole thing is my idea, so the buck has to stop with me. Thats one thing I have to think about in 2010, find ppl who can actually be proactive enough to say the buck CAN stop with me too. I just feel very helpless and frustrated cos I wanna be the person who picks up the buck back home.

Its frustrating, doubly frustrating when all you can do is type in messages on your phone, or type a PM on msn in an effort to get across a msg you know you can only best say when said face to face.

Also, i think my friendship with one of my closest players has gone down the drain, dats for sure. Over football and Lombardi? One might ask, and might say its not worth it. And yeah I'll prob say the same, but its harder being said then being done, but talking online with her yesterday I knew in my heart things are already not the same. Realli crap, a few months ago, I would have pretty much given everything to make sure that she would be ok, just as I have over the past 2-3 years we've known each other. But now as much as I want to, I just can't look at her in the same light anymore. What a pity, I never thought it would happen but now that it has, let bygones be bygones.

Looking back at all these frustrations and such, sometimes I feel that its not worth it. Honestly, I know its fully in my power to stay off the charts and not make an effort, cos who can do anything about it? But I guess dats not my style, I hate buck passing, having seen it first hand for so many years in SPF and in VJ. So yeah it shall stop with me, as always. Whatever mess in Lombardi there is, I think that only I have the full mandate to claim responsibility over it and for dat I shall.

Alright, dats enough of dat, glad I got that out, just cos I mean thats the purpose of this place, to say whatever i need to say. I am gonna go for a long long run now (hopefully 15k if i have the legs, which I should). But yes, whoever you are, thanx for reading this far man.

Missing all,
Az

So Cluelessly Cute

2009-09-28T17:56:00.004+08:00

Sorry, I know its been a while, but yeah lots of things have been happening, and lately I realised that I have also been getting more fitful sleeps, cos perhaps I spend most of the day at school and exercising. I was supposed to go running today along Swan, but luckily I checked the bus timetable, and today is actually a public holiday and the buses stop about 2-3 hours earlier than normal, so yeah lucky thing I checked. Funny thing is though, that school still runs normally even though its a public holiday, so yeah I don't really know what they define as "public"over here, cos being a student isn't being a member of public somewhat. Anyways just wanna share some pictures of things that I see, first off gonna share some pictures of this casino/IR called Burswood that I headed to two weekends ago to watch the Manchester Derby,which of cos didn't disappoint. Never saw so many City fans though.

I felt like I was back in Asia again. So many Asian people everywhere trying their luck at the machines.

This is the typical jackpot machine I guess, probably the fastest way to gain or lose money without moving much in a single night.

This was the huge screen at the sports bar, which we were at. It was standing room only, and somehow the other huge screen contrived to show cricket. Seriously, juxtaposing it beside a 7 goal trailer, I think its fair to see why football is the world's favourite sport.

The next two pics are pics of those cute miniature like horses that they have at circus, they look like normal horse but with stunted legs, and a mini everything else. Very cute. Took it on the way back after I finished working one of the days at Langley park and they had set up the circus tent beside our soccer fields.

I couldn't go nearer, because an electric-fence was put up. Wonder if its to keep us out or to keep them in, I think its prob the former, I mean look at them? So cluelessly cute, eating the grass without a care in the world.

Well, anyways that's all for now, basically the major assignment for this week is done, which is the group presentation we just finished earlier on in the day. What is left is to prepare towards week 11, one essay, one exam, one presentation. The key is to prepare as much as I can in this week so that when week 11 comes I am ready.

Missing all,

The Nightmare before Hari Raya

2009-09-20T12:00:00.003+08:00

Its hari raya over here, but yeah its pretty much the same over here. Same old Sunday, and same old routine, which I like realli, cos at least got soccer later in the afternoon. Also, we have a team outing later tonight to go watch Man U vs Shitty, so yeah looking fwd to that, its my first team outing and our first in a while.

Other than that, bout 48 hours before this, my external hard drive crashed. Like completely went missing, and could no longer be detected. Everything that I had on it, which includes my work from day 1 at UWA was gone. But its my fault for not backing up and stuff. Stupid me. But yeah i spent most of Friday night, and the whole of Saturday in school redoing my work, and realli if it wasnt for Nat helping me out I wouldnt have finished my stuff. So thanx Nat, for pulling thru for me, it was awesome, then again I never doubted you would.

Alex helped out a lot too, so yeah it was good to have people rally around you when you need help. But yeah what a nightmare I really was on my bed, and praying on Friday cos I didnt know what else to do, and of cos I wasnt in the right mind to startredoing my work, thinking that I could somehow retrieve the data.

But once I got over that, it was just non stop work and Nat roped in to help me till about 2am on Friday, cos I realli wanna go for tonights team outing and stuff.

But yeah I think those who realli realli know me know my view on Hari raya and stuff, I much prefer the fasting part, and I dont like going round and visiting people, especially people who I haven't seen for over a year. I guess today will be the day u take the opp. to see ppl but I just dont feel nice about popping your head over, pretending like you care, when the rest of he year you dont even say anything, its not right. I'm fine with going to the houses of people that I am familiar with and go to at least maybe once a month or something, so usually first day of Hari Raya is fine. But yeah pls for me no 2nd day or third day, not realli comfortable with it.

I guess the one thing I miss most is the food! Haha, but its alright, garlic bread is cooking in the oven now so its not too bad I must say. I hope I can enough rest today and clock up sometime to practice for the major presentation I have due tomorrow.

Hope everybody else is doing ok.

Missing all,
Az

Losers on and off the pitch

2009-09-16T23:18:00.003+08:00

Well back again for another update, the second half of the season is here, and we have four well now 3 more matches. We managed to win again today but it was a crap match cos of the opponents. I realised one thing, that I'd rather play against a crap team than play with a good team which talks crap.

Can u imagine? They took the lead in the first half, and they went in one up. But somehow we eked out 2 goals, took our chances and were on the upside. Then things started to go awry. First, a guy threatened to punch Ali, then another one kept mouthing us, and told us "you guys are a joke!". He must have said that at least 15 times in the match. all of them were mouthing off in one way or another, but I tried to ask the team to keep a lid on it, although Ali was obviously losing it. Who wouldn't if a guy threatened to punch you?

Anyways, I was just realli sad, and resigned, cos its always these players who are blessed with some skill, that lack the class, thats why I realli admire those players who I played with in JC, they were excellent players, yet the class they show is amazing. On the field they just play the game. I still remember in Sec 4, and the AC guys were having a go at Puva, and all he did was just smile, I remember Syarif doing that to, and then he fucked some guy up with an incredible tackle that left the guy completely winded. So the point is, at the end of the day just let your actions do the talking.

I realli hate ppl who mouth off, and I hate ppl who walk around with the God-given right that they should win things without actually winning them (ahem, some club in the EPL seems to have that attitude). So yeah, the team today called us a joke, but realli they merely got undone by some good football, as well as their own attitudes. Aggression and anger realli have a very bit part role to play. As John Wooden says, emotion is your enemy.

But yeah, I'll leave it at that. I think the score does matter, but I think its worse if you lose on the scoreboard and you have no class to boot. Dats something .

6 wins, 1 loss, 3 more matches and then the semis.

Missing all,
Az

Trip to Subiaco Oval (Tri-Nations with Ben)

2009-09-08T13:41:00.003+08:00

And so, this is a pictorial update on the highlight of Ben's visit over here, which was a trip to watch the tri-nations at Subiaco Oval.

This was Ben waiting for our chips and stuff before heading to Subiaco Oval, which was where the match was held.

The crowd outside Subi Oval, the good thing about the stadium is that it has 26 entrances, which meant that even though it looks clogged up here, its mainly due to people standing around and waiting outside, but the walk in was smooth, the only long line was cos many of the ang mohs were buying their favourite beverage of cos, BEER.

The sports teams in Australia often have some brand name attached to them, so the rugby players are known as the Qantas Wallabies, and this was the giant balloons they brought up to acknowledge the sponsor, of course.

The stadium was comfortable and seating was good enough such that our view was unobstructed. Furthermore our end saw a majority of the tries. Above is a picture of he crowd to the right of us. Pretty decent crowd I guess considering that Australia had nothing left to play for.

The Wallabies made plenty of mistakes which resulted in tries, and as always they had to reset with a kickoff from the centre. Australia is in yellow.

This was in the second half, and the SA players walking out from the dressing room. They are huge, although they look tiny from this picture. But yeah my amateur camera held up pretty well considering I took this from the other end of the pitch.

Australia caught up somewhat in the second half, and scored a try, and the kicker was preparing to kick in the conversion (extra 2 pts) after scoring the try. The SA players have to stand behind the goalpost while the kick is being made.

Now, one thing about the bloody National Stadium is that the stupid screen is really useless. It even stops running after 45 minutes, and you won't know how much of extra time was left and such. This is an example of a working screen.

Managed to get a great shot, again from my end, of the Aussie players huddling up after the loss, nice to see some camaraderie even in professional teams. You don't see many huddles after the match nowadays.

Me and Ben taking a photo closer to the pitch after the match. The stadium emptied out pretty quickly due to the numerous exits everywhere. Also, everyone who bought a ticket was granted a free ride on the train or bus home, so yeah it encouraged ppl to take public transport and avoid massive congestion often seen in Singapore, that is when ppl actually bother to see Singapore play at all.

That's all from Subiaco Oval, and probably my one and only chance at watching Tri-nations, something I have been watching since I was first introduced to the sport at 13. But it was a great experience, thanx Ben!

Missing all,

UPDATES!

2009-09-03T19:24:00.003+08:00

Hey all, sry to have taken so long and not spoken much but things have been just a rush over the last two weeks and I wanted to make sure I squeezed every possible minute to make sure I'm on top of things. So I'm just gonna break things down into various aspects of life as we go along, in no particular order.

School

School has been hectic but manageable, had a very important presentation that just ended yesterday. Actually I am not so much scared of the presentation and stuff cos I'm pretty used to standing up and talking in front of ppl. But at postgrad level, one is expected to not only give a presentation but in fact conduct a workshop for the whole class. Luckily though, my group mates were really helpful and very focused people. They are both exchange students though so I am not seeing much or anymore of them after this sem, the first is Sverre (pronounced sir-vair(as in fair)-rah) and gemma (pronounce the G like a J). Sverre is from Norway and he does kickboxing, and Gemma is just this incredibly fun person from NZ. Both were really helpful and it was fantastic that three ppl from different continents could work well together, although at first I really couldn't understand Gemma very well, cos of her thick Kiwi accent. But anyways, the presentation went well and I was glad the class participated as well. I always have this reservation with ang mohs, especially when they are in their own country, cos they tend to stick to themselves, I guess its the same for us Singaporeans. So talking to the crowd and all, I wasn't always sure if they would speak and be open with us. In short, the presentation went well and our lecturer was pretty happy with our effort.

Work

As some of you may no,I still give tuition over here, which takes up a bit of my time each week. But I got a new gig, helping out in the administrating and officiating of the Bank of Queensland Corporate Sports Challenge. Basically its a competition held during lunch time for the office ppl to come and compete, and they have many different sports, so this time of the year we are doing soccer, and in about a month we are going to start with netball. The guy in charge is pretty nice, David Meyer, and yeah he helps us a lot. Officiating the matches havent been all that smooth cos ppl do contest decisions but its not the hardest thing in the world. But its cool having the exposure of being involved in a major set up such as this, the soccer tournament itself has over 60 teams, so its cool, and getting the hands on experience in terms of organising stuff and all, its been good really. So yeah.30 AUD an hour (about 36 bux an hour) doesnt hurt as well!

I will be getting yet another job which pays about 75 AUD a pop and basically in involves the distributing of catalogs in my neighbourhood. Haha, I just decided a few days ago that I do have time to squeeze in a bit more work, and yeah the person called me and told me they had no distributor in my area. So basically what happens is that twice a week, they will drop the catalogs and stuff at my house. I take them, fold them, and have about 48 hours to drop them in my neighbourhood, which I think is a reasonable time frame, cos there is no particular time that I must drop them at, rather just a time frame. So yeah dats an extra 150bux a week, and its not too shady I guess. Basically all this money from work is just going to my bank account, cos I am not gonna loosen my wallet, other than maybe a bit for Fremantle seafood.

Ben's Visit

I am gonna write a seperate post for this, cos I have pictures and such, and we did quite a bit in the 3d2n he was here. But yeah other than that it was good to see a familiar face around. But more on this later. WQ will be heading here on tuesday, so yeah there will be plenty to write about, too much for this post at least.

Soccer

We've played 6 matches, and we lost our 4th game 4-1. It was just a complete collapse to a team which was not really very strong, and yeah I was rally very disappointed. We switched certain things about the way we played, toggled our personnel around and we won our last two games 2-0 and 4-3 (just yesterday).Basically I now play as a GK, cos I can play as a sweeper as well, and it makes it sort of a 5 man attack, instead of just depending on the 4 outfielders, and so far it has worked well. Pity I played a howler yesterday, and it was great the rest of them managed to bail the team out. Its a break this coming week before we play 4 more games and then hopefully progress to the semi final and eventually final.

Hmmm, I think dats about all for now, this coming week its gonna be a break week, but I am determined to use the time to get on top of my work and make sure that when school opens I'll be pretty much ready to go, cos yeah the next six weeks when school opens is gonna be very hectic. Alright will get the Ben post up soon, till later.

Missing all,
Az

Radio Silence

2009-08-21T13:05:00.001+08:00

Hey all,

I am maintaining radio silence for now. Just got too much on my mind at the moment, some good things, some bad things.

But I am ok though, so no worries, will speak more in due time. Its gonna be a massive 2 weeks coming up before the mid term break.

Missing all,
Az

2009-08-14T12:49:00.002+08:00

Time flies and its already one month since school started. Lots has happened in the past month but I think its good that I am settled in and everything is alright. Besides that being able to keep fit and eat healthy has been a bonus too. I can't believe I haven't had a bite of ice-cream or a sip of soft drink for quite a while already, so I am happy at that. Veges are still not my friends, but at least now I recognise how important they are and am eating veges very regularly.

The match on Wednesday started off a bit shaky, and both teams were tied 1-1 at half time. But we soon settled down and the score was 5-1 at the end. I didn't score though but two assists are good as well I guess. Next two weeks are gonna be tougher teams as well so I hope we can pull through. But yeah 3 wins from 3 is good, so I hope we can pull it together and weather the next two weeks. Its not gonna be very easy, but we will try.

Other than dat, fasting is coming up realli soon as well, but I think everything will be ok, since I dont eat lunch most of the time here at school. Only thing is having to wake up earlier and eat, and then sleep, which is not realli very good.

Lastly, have finally started actively looking for a job and stuff, although i am really in not much of a rush to work right now, cos Mid sem is just around the corner and all, so gotta be real careful. I spend most of the time nowadays studying and researching but its all good. I am excited too, cos I get to write a paper on Wenger for one of my units, so I am really looking forward to that as well.

Alright then, I am at my desk but I gotta head to the mosque nearby for Friday prayers.

Missing all,
Az

2009-08-09T13:05:00.002+08:00

Singapore turns 44 today. I dunno how I feel about it, its my first year out of the country for national day, but somehow that concept has failed to get to me for quite a while already. I think it was probably my time in NS, since we were helping in the planning of NDP, it was such a crazy task, and kinda turned me off it, u know what they say about having too much of something rite.

Anyways, I was thinking and I dunno if i love my country the way pplsay they love Singapore. There are certain things which I love in Singapore, but not everything i guess. Like other countries have their own unique things as well. I dunno but what does loving your country realli mean? I guess experiences in life will determine that?

But anyways, I guess its hard to put into a proper list what I miss, but theres always something about home, you just feel lie your home when your in it, dats all i know.

Watching million dollar baby ona lazy sunday, and I'm gonna head out for soccer now.

Out.

Too soon

2009-08-08T17:16:00.003+08:00

Hey all,

Shux time is flying too fast, and I apologise for not blogging regularly, but yeah time has been spent either exercising, cooking, or most of the time doing work. Anyways the week has been ok, I am actually in the library now, its a Saturday evening and I am in the library, but come to think of it I was doing that a lot during Bachelor's as well.

Wednesday was great as we got off to our first win of the season, well first official win cos the previous week was grading. We played against the same team again, and got off to a flyer, going in to a 3-0lead at half-time, which I was realli surprised with, but I reckon the fact that we got there early and started responsibly warming up did play a part.

And i managed to score another goal, and seriously, honestly, I scored it off a bicycle kick. Shux I tried it a minute or two earlier and I completely missed cos my timing was off and the ball was travelling on a funny axis,kinda curling away. So the next time the ball got to me, it bounced once off the ground, and I chested it up nicely, and seriously just tried my luck, the moment it went off my boot I knew I had a clean contact, but I was shocked as hell to see it go over the keeper and into the goal. Hell, the keeper prob could have saved it but I think he was as shocked as me to see it go that way.

We let in a goal midway into the second half, but after a while, we steadied ourselves and held out for the win. Ali and Mahmood, the Omanis played for us and they did realli well. Looking forward to the next one on Wednesday.

Other than dat, we got our first grp presentation cleared this week, and I think we did realli well, although I was a tad irritated with why Alex was so insecure about his presentation and all. But yeah maybe he is like dat and I shouldnt judge him about it. I realise that for most of the groupwork I am just pleased to motor through cos my sense of industry has always been there, and I let the others do the talking and such. But our group has come together well and I think we will do just fine and keep improving as the things go along.

I guess in this part of time, and on weekends and such, I kinda miss home a bit in the sense that I always had something to do, I had coaching on Sats, and tutoring or soccer on Sundays. Always something to do with ppl I know. I dunno why but ppl here just seem to like to drink and to party and stuff, and I dont blame them, rather its just me who doesnt like to do such normal (20-30yr olds) kinda stuff. I dunno. I guess Id just rather sit at home and relax, watch a good show, and cook myself a good meal. But it gets to me sometimes. Why I cannot be like everybody, why I have to be so uptight over things, why I wont cross certain lines no matter what.

Oh well, life's like that and you live with the choices you make yeah?

Other than that, week 4 is coming soon and I am almost up to two months over here. Not too bad, I am looking forward to starting my practicums and such, will keep u guys updated about things.

Hope all are doing fine, weather here has started to turn rainy, but when it shines here, its realli the most beautiful weather.

Lastly a shout out to Lombardi FC, who have just started the first match of the season. Hope they do fine.

Missing all,
Az

Grading Begins

2009-07-30T00:16:00.004+08:00

Alright sorry i gotta write this down, but yeah might as well since it still fresh in my head and all. Well today was the first game for "Indian Ocean FC" a team that I organised for the UWA night tournament. We started our first game today against a team called Salah Parking. I was quite confident cos the teams before din look too impressive so I was thinking that we should be able to at least compete with them,win maybe 50-50...

We started off the match well, I missed a shot from dunno how close, hit the keepers face, and then missed a complete sitter moments later. And the opponents managed to put two past us. Alex was doing realli well in keeper, and he saved our ass so many times, but yeah we got hit with a sucker punch, and then later on another one went past us. It was 2-0, but Nata managed to pull one back from us just before half time right after they scored their second goal.

Felt a bit edgy in the second half, but then we managed to equalise, and Alex was doing brilliant to hold all of their shots at bay. The team was good, cos they were competitive and played decent football, like they passed and built up play so all in all it was pretty even.

We then managed to pull another one and was up 3-2, and somehow I began to feel the match turning, and moments later, off a brilliant alex save, he threw the ball long, and I sprinted the length of the pitch (5-a-side pitch, not that long) and knocked the ball in at the other end! 4-2 final score, and all of us were realli happy and noisy after that.We anticipate some tough matches coming up but at least we tried to play and I was happy that everyone was mature about it, as in like cos there were 8 of us and only 5 could play, and Alex didnt get subbed out, so we had to rotate 4 places among 7 ppl. And yeah ppl were mature and stuff, came off when they had to, came on when they were asked and yeah it was realli cool.

All in all it was a good win, we are still in the grading stages, so they just wanna see like how we are relative to the rest of the league. So yeah, prob still got another 10 to 11 matches left in the league, will update everybody about it as we go along here. Alright its late and all i better get going.

Missing all,
Az

Time Flies

2009-07-29T20:03:00.003+08:00

Man its been so long since I updated, and in a way I guess its good cos it means that I am getting busy in school. Lots of things to do, and keeping fit has been a large part of things to do for me. Its lucky because as students at SSEH (school of sports exercise and health), its been easier cos we have our own gym and swimming pool which the students can use without charge. I also joined an evening soccer tournament, which I am about to play in about an hours time.

Also, being in school has also meant more friends, and I took Marcus' advice about learning to mix with the locals here. I realise that international students and locals tend to keep apart, and I rem that Marcus told me to be easy going, and dont be extra but at the same time make an effort to say hi and all. So its been good.

My intl mates though are awesome, Alex is great, haha he spends a lot (well more than me), and loves a good party, but most imptly he is a grounded guy, and never puts on airs, and he is always respectful like he doesn't look down on people and such. Ali is a new guy, like my senior by one batch from Oman, and he is also very nice. Shree is a Singapore ex-national netball player/model haha and she is so tall, but she is also very nice and approachable and all. Theres also Meena, a girl from US and India, well she is from india originally, as well as Jamie, a super hardworking dude (like he works 3 jobs everyday and studies full time) from UK. Diamond, or her real full name is Diamantina from Macau, who is very friendly and Muza, from Malawi, who also hangs out with us. Ashamed to say, all these ppl from different countries are like the first friends I have had from that country. So its all cool. Oh yeah and there are ppl like Gemma from NZ and Sverre from Norway, who are my group mates in another module. So I guess social wise its not too bad as well.

But work has been, wow overwhelming, lots and lots of deadlines to meet,in such a short space of time, but I think I am relatively on top of it for now, like try everyday to do a bit instead of rushing at the end like when I was back in Singapore. I remember everyday before a paper, I would be up till 2am, sleep till 4am, then dow ork again until 9am, when I have to head to school. Crazy. But yeah now its like I try and do some work everyday, like at least 2-3 hours everyday, cos I know work will def catch up on me, after week 8 its gonna be just crazy, so gotta make use of this time now to get as much of a headstart as possible.

I took some pictures of school and stuff, just gotta find the time to put it up, hope can get it up soon, but this weekend is full cos got two soccer sessions, one on sat and one on sun with leederville united. But yeah I am looking forward to it realli.

Alright I will stop now, I gotta do some research on swine flu and all, hope to tell you guys more about daily life since school started, soon.

Missing all,
Az

First Day of Lessons

2009-07-20T21:51:00.003+08:00

The first day of school has been fulfilling but a bit overwhelming. I have so many things to do, which includes interviews, essays, lit reviews, group pieces and final exams of course.

Morning started with Coaching Psych. with Doc Gordon, he's a realli nice guy, and I went to his office to speak more to him about stuff and all. He actually played for Aberdeen when he was younger, and Fergie actually coached Aberdeen back when he was first starting out. No surprise that during Fergie's reign, they managed to break the deathgrip that Celtic and Rangers had over the Scottish league. But anyways, the class was cosy, and I am doing my group project with an exchange student from Norway, and another girl whom I did not have much of an impression of. But yeah, its quite hard to understand them somewhat, but I will try and work with them. we got time on our side for now so I guess its alright.

The afternoon was spent in the library downloading journals and reading course material. The library is really superb, cos its dedicated to the sciences only, so the stuff there is pretty extensive. Loads of material on sports psyche and nutrition and biomechanics and such. Beautiful. But yeah the library had abundant computer points and comps as well, which was realli fine, and I realise I dont really have to lug my laptop along all the time, since there is such an abundance of computers nearby.

At about two I went for the Exercise and Health Psyche lecture again with Doc Gordon, and a PhD student called Julie presented to us some bacis about sports psyche and such. I am quite lucky that school over the past 3 years gave me a good foundation so most of the stuff was really quite familiar to me. I am doing my groupwork with two americans, a Londoner and a guy from Oman. Haha. Somehow the international kids tend to stick together, I gues its normal at the start.

Thereafter I headed home around 5 to the worst weather ever. Right now the weather is bad and there are like gales outside and stuff. I wonder how it is like in Fremantle which is rite at the coast. But yeah, its really cold and stuff here, and the winds are really bad. Si much so that I decided to just stay indoors. I am supposed to go out and make a call but I think I can't cos really the wind is quite bad. 110km/h according to the reports. Its literally howling.

So yeah school on day one has been good. I am glad that I have a break tomorrow so I can consolidate, study and prepare for Wednesdays classes.

I missed the testimonial match for the first time today.

Missing all,
Az

For Crying out Loud

2009-07-19T18:10:00.002+08:00

There are lots of things that a person may feel but I think one of the worst things one can feel is helpless. You do everything you can to ensure that something doesn't happen. but in the end it still happens? What can you do, you cannot wish it didnt happen, because it already did. You cannot reflect about what you could have done better, because you did as much as you possibly can. You look for someone to blame, inclusive of yourself, and you cant even seem to find blame in yourself, although it may not feel better blaming yourself, at least you know you can improve next time.

What the fuck man. My bike wasnt even one month old and now its gone. I parked it at Glendalough Station, at the proper bike rack, between a train station and a bus interchange. The human traffic there was significant. I locked both wheels, yes both wheels of the bike, and I looked at the rest of the bikes on the rack, mine was definitely not the most fancy one around. I went off for two and a half hours in the city and when I came back, it was completely gone. I didn't know what to say and I don't know what to think as well.

I realli dont have luck with vehicles, it was worrying at first, but now its just fucking depressing. (in an effort to blame myself, this is what I have to say)

Out.

Hurt

2009-07-15T22:05:00.004+08:00

Today has been one of the worst days since I came here, and you know what the ironic thing is, the problems and worries had to come from Singapore. Setting up and trying to run the club has not been a problem. There are a committed bunch of individuals to help with the cause. The problem lies in trying to communicate with FAS.

Seriously, I have no words, but its a shame that a football-mad country is undone by the people who govern the football. How many failures have you heard of brilliant potential undone by lousy management.

Lets stop with the excuses, lets not say our players are too small, or shit like that, that is God given. Trinidad and Tobago qualified with a population of 3 million. And look at the players from Korea and Japan, are you telling me they are bigger than the likes of Baihakki, Bennett, Precious and company?

We always fault the country and our socio-economic background, saying oh, the people dont prioritise sports much. So? Whose fault is that at the end of the day? The people? No, the fault lies with the lack of belief, and the attitude that simply screams out VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE. Heck if vjsg or even vjc had that kinda attitude we would not be where we are now. If we want things to move, we gotta be brave enough to try, we gotta be willing to break past certain consistencies and try new things. The management is paid money to convince the people of the cause, not to complain and moan about things.

You know i learnt a lot of things from Mr Tan, but one thing he said to me which I will always remember is to be a problem-solver and not a problem creator.

Honestly I am really sad for people who have or had so much hope in local soccer, I am so embarassed that we aimed to actually qualify for the 2010 world cup and had to freaking remove that. But of course nobody talks about such an embarassment.

Bottom line is this, the right tool will never be used properly in the hands of the wrong people. So yeah its a real pity, so for all you soccer fans out there, its understandable for you to put your heart and soul in the likes of the EPL clubs. Its understandable. Its understandable if you wish to stay home and watch EPL instead of being out there watching shit being played in the league. Its understandable.

Just because you are Singaporean, it doesnt mean that you have to be there for the country to support them. Because it hurts. Thats the truth. Someday, I hope things will change, but in the meantime, heed my words, things are not gonna get any better.

So I just wanna wish my best.

To Man U. Say what you want about all these money chasing clubs, but they are doing something right, and we can learn from it.

Out,
Az

First few days in school

2009-07-14T23:57:00.002+08:00

The first day of orientation today was a mixture of a lot of things. For me the talks were quite informative, but some of them like those on transport and security and such I kinda switched off because having been here a month or so, I was quite familiar with what I had to do and all. But it was understandable why they had to go through such things, some of the students there, as I got to know later, arrived even on the morning itself!

I am generally someone who is not very comfortable with talking, like I will talk if I know you or am in a familiar place. But once I am in a crowd of strangers you should never expect me to say a word, unless I am suppose to take charge, or unless I know everybody has similar interests, such as at the coaching course the other time.

But yeah anyway, it was an alright first day, today was more of the submission of papers and other stuff, quite short, and tomorrow will be the big one, where we have to decide on the modules and such. Thursday and Friday and the weekend will prob be the last one in a while where I can really slack, but am planning to go cycling with Alex (my US friend whom I met on facebook) and we will be organising something for all the faculty international students (more on that later).

Tomorrow I am also suppose to see the head of my area of interest, sports pysch, Prof Bob Grove, about my course options and all. There are really so many choices so I have to be careful with what I choose and how I go about doing it, so that I will have the best chance possible of doing well in the coming two years.

I also realised that the orientation for us postgrads is different, obviously we are not enthu 20 year olds who like jumping around and such, most are serious about stuff and want to get a move on things. SO what they did was give us a lot of opportunities to mingle and such, and luckily having Alex beside me was a blessing, he is a super smooth talker, everything that I am not lar, and yeah he always introduced me as well, so yeah I got to know more people with his help most definitely.

Which leads me on to our faculty gatherings, where we had to choose our modules with an advisor and stuff. The wait was long so we took the time to know each other, made friends with some girls from Macau, Japan, Malaysia and Malawi, as well as some guys from Malaysia and Saudi Arabia. There were not many of us to start with so it was pretty easy to talk and mingle, but sadly there were no other international students from my school, School of Sport, Exercise and Health (SSEH). Which was quite sad, but ok lar, hahah then Alex was the best during the advisory session, his advisor came to me and asked me what I was doing, so that Alex could do the same modules, haha. But his specialty though is different than mine, I think he is still in the midst of choosing where else I am pretty clear about what I want to do.

Anyway, we decided that we will probably hang out as a batch before school starts, and looking at the size of the school it may be quite hard to catch up and all, so me and Alex are gonna discuss on Thursday on what to do. Hopefully we can meet up and chat and all, before we are all cooped up and rushing around.

On a sidenote before I end, Colby's been sick for coming to two weeks now, coughing, and stuff, and I am quite worried, not if its swine flu or anything lar, but if he will be alright, cos two weeks to me is pretty long to not clear the system and such, so hope he gets well soon, cos haha he is a bit quieter nowadays, whereas usually when we watch tv he will be dishing out his funny dry sarcastic remarks. Hope he gets well soon.

Lastly, I went for a run today, and ran all the way deep into the park, which was so quiet, save for the occasional duck or swan or goose. Haha, no snakes so far, despite the warnings of them. I hope sometimes this semester I can slowly walk and take pictures for you guys.

Alright thats all for now, big day tomorrow, and hopefully a nice not too fast weekend ahead.

Missing all,
Az

2009-07-12T23:08:00.003+08:00

Well, tomorrow's orientation day, and I loook forward to meeting the people at school. Somehow, I feel that I have reached a level of focus that I want in school and education. I feel really eager to start school and to really get into the thick of studying and such. Dunno why, maybe the lack of challenge in the past two months has gotten to me?

Hmm, well anyways I have nothing much to write now, so I will stop here, I am sure I will have much more once things kick off tomorrow.

Missing all,
Az

2009-07-09T21:47:00.002+08:00

The past few days have been alright, and I have done much moving around and all, trying to settle stuff, as well as studying. Yes studying, revising my stats, cos I know I will prob encounter lots of it at least in one or more of the modules. Also borrowed this giant psychology textbook from the nearby library so I can read through stuff. I am quite anxious for Orientation to come cos I really want to know the modules I can do, and what my timetable is like, so I can plan my stuff, some interesting jobs have popped up recently, but I cant take any up until I know what I will be doing for the next 4 months or so.

Other than that well I feel good, doing circuit everyday, and trying to cycle for at least half an hour for starters each day, tlaking about that, I need to get a lamp for my bike cos I sometimes cycle at night and such. And its bloody dangerous also, cos the cars cannot see me cos my windbreaker is black as well.

So yeah new windbreaker, and front and back lights. I am contemplating so much bout getting a car, but yeah I cannot just buy it lar, I know when I am cycling home after I am dead tired from school I will regret it, but its ok in the bigger picture its the right thing to do also.

Oh yeah and one last thing, I was choosing pictures to put in my coaching resume and looked through the pictures of the season and such. Wow, I really do miss a lot of things, and made me think about home for like the first time in a long time (like seriously ponder about home lar). Thats why I havent seen the girls' CD yet, cos I dont wanna see it until I am prepared.

Alright thats all for now.

Missing all,
Az

Trip to the Western Australian Museum

2009-07-08T16:52:00.003+08:00

Apologies for the late reply, been a bit busier these days, as I have been reising my work and such before school starts in a few days time. Other than that, have been having a bit of a problem trying to upload the pics to my comp cos the bluetooth wasn't working that is , until today. So here's more about my trip to the Western Australian Museum near Northbridge. I decided to head here cos I didn't really have anything to do and cos it was Friday and since I was at the nearby mosque might as well.

Basically the entrance to the museum was free, so you are encouraged to donate, which I did, but yeah if you didn't it was alright as well. This is the front facade of the museum.

When one enters the museum the first thing I noticed was that there were like overhanging corridors in the upper levels, which contained historical displays (small ones) as well as texts and such. I wanted to try and see them, but to no avail. The television screens in this pic btw is a live stream of the many cities around the world, like Paris, NY, London, etc. etc.

This is an original jaw of a shark, I forgot what the name of the shark was, although I know its carnivourus, not too sure if it was the great white though. Shark attacks are not uncommon in Australia.

A close up of the jaw would show that there are actually several rows of teeth, ready to come to the front, should the front row drop out.

This is a skull of a killer whale.

A live-sized model of an aboriginal drawing. Each tribe has its own version of how the world was formed and this picture is an illustration of the artist's tribe's version of it.

An ancient diving suit, super huge, and bulky, I am really not sure how the person stayed dry and warm, but yeah it definitely does the sinking part well, cos its huge and heavy.

This is the remains of a very rare shark called the Megamouth, of which only a few have been caught/sighted around the world. This one here is the only one caught in Australia and is the largest one documented in the world, found right here in Perth.

This is the actual picture of the megamouth, when it was caught. It doesn't really look like a shark, looks kind of like a porpoise of sorts, but witha a shark like body. Very odd.

This was an exhibit of a dentist's clinic in the late 1800s, in Perth. Notice the cheap prices then! Well relatively cheap.

There was a special exhibit about aboriginal life in Australia, and the "stolen generation" of aborigines, who were discriminated against, and had their children taken away in an effort by the colonialists to make them more civilized. It really opened my eyes to how the aborigines were treated in the country and why the hold so much resentment.

The current Government had an official day, where they apologised for the mistreatment of the aborigines by the earlier governments. The notebook at the bottom was written with "sorry" notes from children seen in the picture above it.

Just another of the articles I saw in the exhibition. It was really enlightening yet I felt incredibly sorry for how the aboriginal people, who were the"people of the land" were mistreated and made second class citizens in their own land. I could understand (to a slight extent) how frustrated they feel, just by reading the articles. Really made me reflect a lot on stuff.

Pieces of metorite rocks that landed across Australia.

I took my bike out that day, and cycled to the mosque/museum and back, which took me bout half an hour each way. The good thing about cycling is that you can stop and shoot a pic, especially one as beautiful as this, of the sun setting in the horizon of Lake Monger, which is a mere ten minute walk from my place. Beautiful.

Oh well, there are plenty more things I want to write about, but in a way I am grateful I do not have the time to write such long posts because it means I am getting busier. I will write soon about other stuff. Take care.

Missing all,

Common Ground

2009-07-04T11:39:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was spent going to mosque and thereafter heading over to the state museum where I saw quite a lot of interesting stuff, but I will save it for the next post cos I am going out again in a while. So yeah just a short post about what happened the night before (Friday night).

Basically I was on the way to watch the TV, when Colby my housemate decided that he wanted to watch a movie. I only wanted to watch scrubs so I just asked him if he could delay his dvd watch by half an hour. We then began talking about scrubs and such and the episode started. It was an old episode and Colby just stood up and told me he had something, and guess what he came back with!
What a superb find! 24 discs worth of scrubs episodes, and 6 seasons in total, I was really excited cos now at least I know what to do if the tv shows don't interest me during this closing two weeks before school starts. So yeah, it pays to have a housemate who likes to watch dvds and such.

We then began talking about other things, and then we touched upon my favourite show of all, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Haha, well its not really my most favourite shoe (Murder in small town X and Prison Break come to mind as well), but I followed the series from start to end, and I told him how I was such a big fan of SMG that I used to paste a photo of her in my school file! What the heck right, but oh well, I was secondary school then. Colby also spoke enthusiatically about the show, and we spoke about the classic episode which was performed as a musical. Then he went into his room again, and showed me this! (he asked not to be in the pic though)

And thats when I knew.......I was meant to live in this house! Haha, well besides that I think its just cool to have a housemate who shares common ground about things, and yeah I am really glad I got him as a housemate, its been a great experience.

Tonight, its gonna be a dvd night, probably Kill Bill 2.

Missing all,
Az

Cottlestoe and a Bike

2009-07-02T20:44:00.004+08:00

Today I headed down to get my bike. I bought it from an Irish guy called Chris Clayton, and I had an interesting talk with him, as he described that he actually was on a 1 year holiday visa here in Oz, and was using the time to earn money, and later to travel. Basically, he had just finished working for six months, and together with his mates was going for a drive around Australia. Basically Perth is just a small spot in Oz, and there are many many places one can go to see many things actually. So perhaps, before I grad I should take the opportunity, get some extra money and move around the whole country.

Anyway back to Chris, and he was realli nice though I felt bad for mistaking him for a Scottish guy, and he kept adding the word "liche" at the end of each sentence, its like how Aussies use mate, and we of cos add a "lah/lar" to almost everything we say.

Anyway his house was beautiful, well the scenery was as I will show you in the pics that I took. It just stared into the ocean. The open expanse of it all realli was something I am not used to. I am used to staring out at east coast and seeing a short beach to the right and left of me, tiny waves and numerous ships dotting the horizon. But here, I saw an empty horizon, prob just a few ships to the left, far, far, away and miles and miles of beaches, just endless, with barely anyone on them (cos winter is like finally setting in).

So yeah I bought my bike for 80 bux, which includes a helmet, a pump and a lock, so I would dare say its a good buy. And I cycled home. The cool thing about Perth is that they allow you to bring your bike onboard the train no matter what size (unlike Singapore). So you can just step in and park your bike beside the door, and then sit down if there is a sit available nearby, if not just lean against your bike.

Halfway through the ride though, I seriously felt like shit, cos I had suddenly cycled realli hard from Chris's place to the station nearby, and I hadn't eaten breakfast. Suddenly felt very faint, and bouts of light headedness followed by heavy headedness. And I kept resting on my knees. I concluded that it was just a reaction of the body to me suddenly subjecting myself to a physical bike ride without preparing. I was sweating cold sweat like hell in the train, I did not even sweat as much when I went for a 5k run the other time.

But anyways, I rested for a while at one of the terminals and continued my ride home, I felt much better, and I even spared some time to help donate to this guy raising funds for the Blind Sport Association of WA.

Anyways I will leave you with a pic of my new ride, as well as the pics of the sea and beach at Cottlestoe, which is quite near to Fremantle. Btw, the biuke was supposed to be 90, but Chris din have 10 bux change for my 2 50 notes, and I had a 20 and a 10, so he just said I'll take it for 80. Haha, will never hapen back home. I took is email and msn and facebook down, now I have a friend in Ireland.

As I was walking with Chris back to his place, so I could adjust the height of the bike seat, I saw something in the distance, you can see it in this pic too. It is the dark blue thing rising in the horizon, so I thought it was like a hill or something although it was too straight.

Unbelievable, it was actually the coast line! Beautiful expanse of ocean and beaches, and look a the waves! I was taking this from maybe 200-300m away. So this is what a real coast looks like, and if u strain your eyes u can see a ship in the horizon. And Chris gets this view everyday!

And this is my new ride, a standard bike, no suspension, no quick release wheels, but better, cos than not so upmarket. Its a good buy I feel, and for the price I got. In Aussie, most new bikes cost in the hundreds, not like the Carrefour ones in Singapore which you can buy for pretty cheap.

Well, thats all for now, tomorrow will be prayers and probably going to spend some time at the library or museum. Then on Saturday will be meeting up with Nelson's sister Judy, who will be taking me round and all.

Missing all,

Thinking it over

2009-07-01T22:14:00.002+08:00

Nat left on Tuesday and frankly for me I felt rather empty, cos we had a lot of fun when she was here, going to Freo and all that, I am not sure when I will head there again actually. But we promised each other that if she came again we would make it a point to go for the night tour there.

Other than that, I have been busy doing other things as well, been busy studying the online material as well as doing the assignments online, Cos I am actually registering for a first aid course, which will help me further my coaching over here. I am not really sure if I have to have a cert over here, but I know that having a cert will do me good in any case. The course will be on next week in the City, so yeah looking forward to it. Cos that will more or less be my last week to really be this free and all.

The other thing I am planning to invest in is a bike. Yup, a bicycle, I am meetin up with a guy whose ad i saw online to see if I wanna buy a bike, seems pretty reasonable, at 90 bux, I get a helmet, a pump and a lock as well. But yeah will have to check it out. Thing is my uncle has lent me his car for a week, and I know that he realli wants me to buy the car off him, but I realli think I can't take it, firstly cos I don't really want to have to pay for everything that comes with it. I mean its really convenient to get around with a car here in Aussie, but along with it, theres like things like petrol, parking fees (at school and at home), I think its too much for someone who is trying to survive and live with his needs and not his wants.

So i think bicycle it will be for me, just that I gotta get a light for the bike and a fluorescent vest, cos I will be riding on the roads. Hope to show you guys some pics once I pick it up tomorrow.

Alright, anyways, dats all for now, I am gonna watch prison break. I just had a long chat with my parents about finances and stuff. Its realli tough to see my finances ebbing away, especially the pile that I have been working hard for all this while. But yeah, I guess no point saving and not putting it to good use, so if there is anything I would want to put my finances into, it would have to be my studies and all. Just feels hard but money isn't everything, its just a means to get you to where you wanna be.

Missing all,
Az

Visit to Fremantle

2009-06-30T15:56:00.010+08:00

Hey all, so I just sen Nat off and now I have time to write about our brilliant excursion to Fremantle, which is a coastal town to the North West (barely) of Perth. Its pretty accessible by train though, so we took a train there and back, and was surprised by the abundance of seats (which do not exist anymore in Singapore beyond Pasir Ris Station and other end line stations). But yeah it was very efficient and got us to Fremantle pretty quickly. More about the train system when I have the time I guess, to fully write about it because its quite interesting how they do things here, when it comes to public transport.
This is Nat at a sign in Fremantle, which stated where the different places were, it wasn't really hard to find many places there, cos there were many signs like these around.

But as we were heading to the prison, we stumbled upon a timezone. Instinctively headed in, and saw a DDR machine, for those who don't know Nat is an expert when it comes to DDR, cos she practiced a lot in secondary school days, so to our surprise the DDR machine was open, cos someone had put in credits and was no longer there. So like a duck to water, she took to it.

This is her in action. As you can see her feet are too fast for the shutter speed on my lousy cam. Haha!

On the way to the prison, I saw the Fremantle Oval, where they play Aussie Rules Football in Fremantle. So headed there to take a pic of the field, which isn't astroturf btw.

The entrance of Fremantle Prison.

A common view in Fremantle prison, the long corridors, with thick doors to the right and left.

And of course there was more than one floor, the netting between the floors was to prevent any suicide cases of ppl jumpin off from the top floor down.

The inside of one of the cells, with a simple study table and chair, and a bed. Prisoners spend about half the day here, the other half working outside.

The toilets are in the exercise yard where the prisoners eat. This pic is about less than 10m where the rest eat. If you want to shit in your cell, there is a bucket which you use, and then empty in a drain near to this toilet.

According to a guide, in the past there used to be a superstition that when an owl flies in, it will indicate if an inmate will be hung or spared (by getting an appeal or reprieve) according to which exercise yard it flew into. And lo and behold she said she had not seen an owl for 3 years, until a few weeks ago, when this owl appeared. As she was telling us about this, the wind picked up tremendously and I was quite scared.

One of the favourite pasttimes of the prisoners while they were outside was basketball, here you see a make shift hoop. There were lines drawn on the floor and all.

This was the anglican church inside the prison. Even here, the prisoners who were violent or at risk (child killers/ex policeman) were seperated cos there were cages behind for them to attend the service in.

No. 6 was ironic, because the very person who painted this, was released from prison and later arrested for murder.

One of the oldest things in the prison is this classic piano, which was brought from England.

The inside of one of the inmate's cell. This particular inmate was rather talented so he was allowed to paint on his walls.

Another painting by an inmate.

A msg written by an inmate here. I have no idea though whether he died in prison, or eventually met his family though, but it goes to show that everybody is human and love is what makes us human.

I love this line, cos its so apt for someone in prison, this was found in another cell. Its like he is trying to remind himself that since he is now in prison (which is obvs not something he planned) he has to try and live life as it was now, and not keep thinking about what was to come. Because if he did, he wouldnt see whats in front of him. Something for all of us.

The triangle, a placed where unruly inmates were tied to and then later whipped.

The inside of a cell of solitary confinement, you stayed 23 hours inside and 1 hour outside, an inmate was rumoured to be in there for 2 years.

The guide told us that this cell was special because if you were in this cell, you only needed to stay for two hours. When asked why, she said its cos you were going to be hung if you were in this cell.

The gallows, 44 people were hung altogether in this room, I did not stay long. None of us did really.

Another look at the gallow, basically that hole is a floor that can be collapsed upon turning the lever which is near the fence.

This is the inside of the catholic church, which was near the women's prison.

Aboriginal art, inside one of the inmate's cells.

This is the inside of the escape proof cell which the famed escape-prone prisoner Moondyne Joe was put in. The walls a redouble thick and so are the doors. The bumps in the wall are old marks of where nails were once stuck to, so the walls were actually covered with deadly sharp nails so that he could not escape. Btw, he did escape, but during worktime in the yard, when he quarried stones, and was secretly digging a hole through the outside wall.

You would be a fool to climb up these stairs, cos if you did, you were about 10m from freedom, seperated by a wall, so they were really careful whom they allowed up here.

Prison, is a place of despair, but also a place where people find many things in themselves, which give them hope. Rainbow over the fremantle prison, two vastly different symbols which somehow appeared together before we left the prison that day.

Thereafter we popped by to the Fremantle chocolate factory and this is a picture on the inside of it, with the chocolate flowing freely. I felt so tempted to just stick my finger in and taste it. But if I did I would prob be made to pay for contaminating litres of chocolate man.

This is the outside of the factory with rows and rows of chocolate to buy. It was also at quite a good price as well.

We managed to pop by the maritime museum as well, and here is Nat taking a picture beside a submarine propellor, she is happy that she is taller than it!

This is the submarine that the propellor belongs to.

Just a view of the coast of Fremantle, sorry its quite blur cos the wind was absolutely gusting over there.

Overall it was a superb trip plus the seafood there was to die for, definitely way better than East Coast and Fish and Co, and it was really worth it. I was so full from eating i literally fell asleep while waiting for the food to be digested. But yeah, I hope to go there soon. There are actually night ghost tours at Fremantle, so I hope to go there.

Thats all for now guys, hope you enjoyed the pics.

Missing all,

Trip to the Perth Zoo

2009-06-27T22:29:00.006+08:00

Hey all, sorry was busy but I really have to share the pics I took at the zoo. I have about a hundred pics but I thought these would, it was a wonderfully-paced day with lots of time to really look at the animals and their behaviours. plus they had special time to walk into the enclosures itself, so it was a really good time. Alright enough talk, here are some of the pictures.

The ever adorable penguin, always a crowd favourite!

This was a sun bear! A cute baby one in the enclosure they just started.

They had a really big enclosure for the elephants (duh right).

The ever majestic tiger, I took like 20 over shots before I decided on showing you guys this one. He's looking straight at me!

This was Nat's whole purpose in coming. To see the Koala bears! But they ran away once the trainer came cos according to her it was weighing day and they hate to be weighed. And also, an interesting thing to note is that they sleep 20 hours a day and they barely drink cos they get 90% of the moisture from the eucalyptus leaves they eat.

Haha, the rhino lazing around. It was damn huge I tell you, and their skin is super thick as well.

The giraffes!

The Galapagos turtle trying to move or already moving? I dunno man, I kept saying that it probably takes forever to move. This one was about 1.2m in length.

And the tarantula spider! Saw this in the nocturnal section, where we saw a bat eating a mouse! upside down some more.

Alright then thats all for now, will put up pictures of the trip to UWA as soon as I can, plan to head to Fremantle prison tomorrow so that will be an interesting journey! Oh yes forgot to tell you that the zookeepers there are really nice, and they are really well educated with their info about animals and such. Not that I expected anything less.

Btw, one last picture!

Nat finally managed to find her relative in Perth after much searching!

Missing all,

Start of Something New

2009-06-23T22:27:00.006+08:00

Well I dunno how time seems to pass to fast over here, but anyways I want to talk about my trip to the women’s cup match on Sunday. Basically I looked up on Friday and realised there were about 6-7 cup matches happening around WA, so I decided to choose the closest one to just take a look at how things are, really. Anyways, as always I checked the map and decided that it “looked” near enough to walk, I reckoned (based on my previous night’s walk) that it would probably take me about half an hour to walk at a fast pace.

How wrong I was, in the end it took me a 1hr 10 min walk. And those people who know me well enough know that I don’t actually walk very leisurely. So yeah, it was a tough walk, and I was asking myself if it would be worth it, cos it was just a match. But I guess the significance of beginning my soccer journey here in Oz just got the better of me so I decided to trudge on.

When I arrived, it was really a great sight. For one, the grass was brilliant, flat grass. Hmmm, if I can describe it its not the sort of grass u find in Singapore, more like carpet/Bermuda grass which doesn’t grow very long and usually grows very neatly.

So anyways when I reached there I saw three beautiful pitches and people playing on each of them. Its probably something like the Padang in Singapore? Yup so I settled down to watch the match between Leeming Strikers and Wembley Downs SC. One thing I noticed immediately was how the Leeming Strikers had like mums playing for them. They looked about 30 plus, maybe 40 even but they were really really good, and they didn’t play like older people, they sprinted just as much and put in just as much effort as the younger ppl around them did.

The pace of the match was also very intense, and the technique involved was a different level altogether than Singapore. Plenty more passing and running off the ball. More importantly they looked like they were playing soccer, and not just trying to. I was very impressed with the match overall, and I felt that my day was worth it.

When I reached home I decided to check where those teams were in the table. Imagine when I realised that the teams were from Division 3 (LSFC) and Division 4 (WDSC) respectively. Imagine how the teams in division 1 play! They have 9 divisions here in WA alone so it was really good to know that so many teams are playing here in WA. Its really different here in terms of the priority and support that they give to sport. Soccer is still growing but everywhere you go you see ads about soccer, aussie rules, rugby league and even the netball league over here.

Well long story short, here are a few pics that I took of the field and of what was happening on it. I used my phone so u can barely see anything much really. But look at the grass, its brilliant really.

Oh and also a few pictures, of the things I took on the way there.

Pictures of the Match, sorry bout the quality but I was using my camera phone.

This is the type of grass that grows on their public field, as you can see its really short and neat.

This was a mini hill that I saw along one of the streets I walked on on the way home. Basically its a small mini hill with trees growing on it, if you can see. But I wasn't allowed beyond the fence.

Always a good sign.

Missing all,

The Long Walk Home

2009-06-21T22:26:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I did something stupid, but necessary. At first sight it wasn't really something stupid, but in retrosopect it wasn't actually something very smart also. Well, basically I was supposed to go for some dance concert with my aunty.I din realli want to go but at the same time I wasn't having any plans too, so I just agreed. The plan was to drive the car to the place, drive the family back, and then have the car on my own today (sunday) and return it tomorrow (Monday). Well one thing I didn't know was that the car had not been driven for a month. And being winter and all, oviously the engine was frozen, so we had to jump start the car. After doing so, we were on our way out, but because the engine was just too cold and had not run a long time, the battery died again, a mere 5 min through our trip. Thank God though I didnt drive it out very far, so we had to get out. And push the car. It was me, my aunty, and her two daughters, both aged 14 and 7. What the, Obviously I had to do most of the pushing, and managed to get it to the side of the road.

Then the real adventure began. Obviously Oz being what it was, there wasn't any bus for me to take back home. Somehow they contrive to not run so often on days and nights when we need it the most. In Singapore for example, the buses run late on Sats, cos people go out late at night. Anyways, I din wanna inconvenience my aunty, and cos I was not too close to her (plus the fact that her house was damn cold) I told her that I would make my way home.

So I actually walked home, and it took me bout 50 minutes altogether. It was rather scary cos the streets were dead, it was seriously like walking around 1-2am in Singapore. Completely quiet. I have walked plenty of times so late at night in Singapore, but somehow being in a foreign country I wasn't realli very comfortorble. I kept looking back and checking to see if there was anybody behind me. In fact even stopped a bit at the start to separate my notes, cos I kept thinking if I was robbed how I could not give them everything I had. Ever the pessimist and the pragmatist. But anyways, long story short, it was a long quiet walk and I kept asking myself why I din just stay? But somehow I told myself and managed to convince myself to just stay cool and keep walking in the well-lit areas. The wind was crazy though, really cut to the bone, but I had my sweater on though. And I kept looking at the clock and tried to convince myself it was really early still (which it was, I got home at 920pm), but the environment around me really convinced me otherwise.

But yeah when I got home I decided that I will have to blog about it. Walking in Aussie on a sat night really no very good idea. But it was necessary cos there was no other way home except to take a cab which was 30 over bux for a 15-20 min ride. Def not worth it. But yes, I gotta be smarter next time, and not walk home at 8 plus at night! Haha, hardly a line you will hear me say in Singapore.

Anyways here are some photos for all. Yes somehow in all that paranoia I stopped to take pics!

Deserted streets at 830pm. This was one of the long stretches of streets that I was walking on.

Another deserted road, though nearer to my place.

This is the road just outside my place, which is called Herdmans Parade, again this was about 9pm. Not a car or a soul.

And of cos I gotta end with my dark driveway home! Haha, to climax the whole trip.

Oh well, looking at these pictures, I am grateful I got home in one piece. Lesson learnt, gotta plan your trip here in Aussie, if not...... take a long walk home!

Missing all,

Day out to the mosque

2009-06-20T21:59:00.005+08:00

Alright I have lots of interesting stuff to say, but I shall break it down into two seperate posts. The first is about friday prayers yesterday. Anytime one is in a new place and a new country, you always look for that familiarity, something u can tie yourself and associate yourself to. You look out for something singaporean, maybe an eating place, maybe even that familiar whiny singaporean voice complaining bout something or being overly enthu at something they've never seen back home before.

Well for me yesterday was good cos I managed to take a bus down, and go for Friday prayers at the Perth Mosque. Those who know me well know that Friday prayers is super important for me and I would do pretty much anything to make sure I don't miss it (e.g. that 2 hour commute to the Kowloon Mosque in HK). So when I discovered the mosque was nearby, I was super happy and made my way down.

When I first arrived, the door was actually closed, so I thought I wasn't at the right place! I waited outside cos I did see ppl on the inside just that din dare go in, I dunno why also. So i waited to see if there were other ppl going in, and soon enough I did see them. The mosque was realli quaint with a courtyard and all, very old school. When to take my ablutions and when I came out I heard the prayer call. Usually in Singapore the person uses a mike and does it from somewhere enclosed. But this time I heard equally loudly and really nearby. Imagine I looked up and saw the person (known as a muazzin) making it right there, live and loaded! haha, first time I see someone just do it there in the middle of the mosque courtyard.

The sermon was simple, and it was all about faith, or iman, and its correlation to the religion, which is Islam. It realli spoke out to me and more than that the imam realli reached out to me. Cos like in Singapore, all sermons are standard word for word, and there is no variation or personality it if you know wat i mean. So when they speak from their heart, you as a receiver can realli feel it. And i realli felt it and the msg stuck so was realli grateful for it.

Another thing which struck mne was the unity and oneness I felt with strangers which I saw for the first time and some whom i will never see again for the rest of my life. There was such a mix of blacks, arabs, indonesians, caucasians and malays. The oneness was something hard to explain and comprehend but those of you who pray with your own congregations will know what I mean. Its just there. Just that feeling it with a whole group of ppl i din know was such a great feeling and realli made me feel proud and super grateful to be a follower of a religion like Islam. So many people, from all over the world, pray to God as one in the one way we were all taught somehow even though we are seperated by so much distance and time.

Anyways forgive me for that also, i wanna keep this content here as generic as possible, but yeah just had to say it lar cos it has been on my mind.

Here are two pics from the mosque trip, wished could have taken more but then not very nice to keep taking pics where ppl are praying also.

This is the outside of the mosque, as you can see its small and simple, and its foundation stone was laid in 1905, so its been here relatively longer than most mosques in Singapore I think. Also, the door is closed, unlike in Singapore, where there is no door in the first place, so I was a bit in doubt as to whether it was open.

As I mentioned, many races, one religion, this the courtyard outside, and it was hearening to see all the people actually socialising and talking outside, instead of just rushing off to work in Singapore (which is perfectly understandable). But yes the cultural mix and diversity and the unity in the midst of it was something I realli appreciated.

Alright that is all for now, I will write more about my adventures today (saturday), and sunday, tomorrow, as I am going to watch the Women's leagues in the vicinity. It has been an interesting week, and I have had a good time exploring around.

Missing all,
Az

A thousand words

2009-06-19T18:08:00.007+08:00

Have sometime so as promised here are the pics of what I have experienced so far, will follow this post up with my experience to the mosque today.

Above is a pic of the long driveway out to the main road of my place, which is called Herdsman Parade. This long driveway is about 150m, and yeah once you reach the end, which is where I'm standing gotta walk in a bit more to my place, which is the second last building.

Australia is full of trampolines, which are probably used in the summer. But I guess this is what you can do when you actually HAVE space. So here was the first trampoline I saw on the way to my nearby supermarket.

Second Trampoline.

Third trampoline, which is probably most advanced, even has things at the side to prevent you from jumping off the trampoline.

This is the inside of the supermarket which is called IGA. The one near my place is called a Supa IGA, and they have lots of varieties of things, including Singaporean spices and such. As you can see it pretty much looks the same.

This is what I took went I went out today after Friday Prayers I headed over to the Perth Cultural Centre, this is the post office btw, which is not part of the centre, but is one of the best places to meet cos of its distinctive structure. Its in the middle of the Perth City Centre (the Orchard Rd like area in Perth)

A fountain outside the Perth Arts Centre.

A walkway just outside the WA Musuem, as you can see the trees are all botak already, a sign that winter is intensifying.

The facade of the WA Musuem, which I hope to go to soon.

I managed to head over to the library also after prayers, and well the music scene is already vibrant here. This board, with all the ads, are of those people looking for bands, people who are looking to give lessons and take lessons in music. Brilliant.

The state library of WA, nice and spacious.

Another picture of the inside of the library, tables and powerpoints are easy to locate, but I think its because most of the students already have access to it at their own schools.

This is a picture of a booth promoting breast cancer awareness. I was wondering at first what the things hanging around the booth were.

And then I saw this hanging nearby. Talk about getting the msg across. Later on I also saw women wearing these purple bras (on the outside of their already worn clothes of course) and collecting money for breast awareness. Realli unique but powerful way to get the msg across.

Well thats all for now, I will update about how today went later on, time to cook dinner!

Missing all,

Inaccurate Headline

2009-06-19T16:29:00.003+08:00

Take a look at this headline;

"Homos too hot for slack Italy"

Follow the link and see what it was really talking about.

Don't point your finger at me I am sure you thought the same as well. =p

Az

First Day Out

2009-06-18T12:24:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was my first day out, and went straight to Perth City Centre, which is something like the Orchard road of the Perth area. But actually its not realli as built up as Orchard road, nor are there many people trying to squeeze past each other like back in Singapore. The concept of space is here is so different than in Singapore and it was comfortable to sit in a bus where you do not have to worry about seating space at all. It was also comfortable walking around without having to worry your clothes might be soaked in sweat and all.

So I boarded the bus 401 (which goes to Pasir Ris Park in Singapore) at around 1145, here the buses run on quite a tight schedule, and you have to check the schedule of the bus at the bus stop itself, or maybe online, and you gotta make sure you are on time, cos if you miss it, you might have to wait quite long. For example, if I had missed the 1145 bus I would have had to wait till 1345. The ride also cost me a bit, about SGD$2.60 actually for a one way trip. So dont complain if things go up by a few cents over there k? Thankfully though once I get my own student card its suppose to go down by half.

Made my way down there within half an hour and jus started walking around, went to the bookstores and a few sports stores, so far so good, caters to what I need. And then I went to the major banks to look at which place to set up an account in. Went to three major banks before deciding on Commonwealth Bank. Turned out to be a great choice cos the service was realli top notch. And also the card can be used at Bankwest (another major bank here) ATMs as well. I dunno but theres somethig about the way they speak to you here and interact with you that makes it feel genuine, when compared to Singapore, which somehow feels more artificial. I dunno how to put it but thats just the way I feel about things. Anyways the guy I met was very forthcoming about things and helped me set up an account here.

After that I bused home, spoke to this Australian guy who asked me a lot about Singapore and the Malay Language and all, and by the time I reached home it was about 4 plus, which was quite late considering it gets dark around 5 plus. Popped by Glendalough village to buy some stuff like bread and potato wedges before settling in for the night. The halal meat I bought was realli superb, and was a great buy, it cooked so easily and I am realli looking forward to eating it again. But for lunch later its gonna be sausages! A nice giant one together with noodles! I seroiusly need to get vege.

Well yesterday was a tiring day but it was fulfilling cos I managed to ride the bus and all. Today I might be going to the Innaloo mall, just to check out what they have there, or I might just slack at home and stuff, will see how things are going. Colby's home too and its surprising but when you don't realli have a social life here, just having your housemate around in the house feels that much better.

Alright, will keep you guys updated, here are two pics I took to give you guys a picture of things.

This is the picture of the inside of the bus, they have an EZ link thingey at the door just like in Singapore, and the bell you press is EXACTLY the same as in Singapore. Seats and such are ok, the only problem is that the buses are quite heavily vandalised.

I took this picture cos I've never realli seen leaves in Autumn, so if you can see the trees to the left and right of the ARTScentre, can see they are an absolutely beautiful red. Brilliant. Wanted to take more pics but I was too busy getting lost and finding myself back again (literally).

Anyways till later.

Missing all,
Az

Everything In!

2009-06-16T23:14:00.002+08:00

Finally I have everything in today, prob with the exception of the rice cooker, somehow couldnt find it at TARGET today, maybe cos people here don't eat much rice. But other than that I bough plates, cups, knives, a hanging rack for my wet clothes, extension cord, and a few other small knick knacks here and there.

My bed is also up, and my parents came over today in the afternoon after their trip up Margeret River to help me ensure eveyrthing is in order. Which it is btw, my dad left me his video cam, so will be putting up some pics real soon.

Other than that, went to watch a movie with my parents also, State of Play, starring Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck at a cinema in the city. The movie, which I knew nothing about, turned out to be realli riveting actually and realli like hyped up the whole concept of journalism and where they draw their borders on reporting. Interesting. My two qualms though are the price (9AUD today, which was the cheapest day & the popcorn which was salty by default....wtf!).

Other than that I think I may have to go bald also, cos haircuts are crazy, 18AUD. Man, I would rather cut my own hair, which would obvs be a failure, so maybe i would ask my housemate to cut me botak or something, at least can save some money.

Oh well dats all for now, tomorrow will prob move around and find my way through this whole area. Oh yes, I also managed to find a wholesale store to buy meat from, halal meat, so food issue has been settled.

Missing all,
Az

Moving In

2009-06-14T23:15:00.003+08:00

Finally today marks my first day and soon night in my new apartment, which is a really nice one actually, I can't wait for you guys to come and see it, there is actually qute a bit of space and my house mate is a nice guy, we watched TV together today too! I just finished watching Biggest Loser, and also watched this thing called Masterchef Australia with him too. Haha, he reminds me a bit of my younger brother, with the eclectic brand of music he listens to and all, haha.

Other than that, also managed to fix up the desk, although I couldn't do much about the drawer cos I didn't have a drill. Clothes are also omstly out and hung the more important ones. Hmmm, wat else, oh I took a walk today around the neigbourhood around 5pm, and it was already getting dark, most of the places here were closed but I was happy to find some places that were open including a supermarket and a pharmacy and all, so took the chance to buy hangars for the wardrobe, as well as frozen french fries just in case. Gotta be realli careful with what I spend here. Dinner was some frozen lasagna and a chicken drumstick gotta be rather frugal as well, so I ate only half of it and left the rest for tomorrow's b'fast.

Oh well, just to let you all know I am safe in my new apartment, and I hope pics will be up soon. Gonna head down to the city tomorrow, to get myself an ethernet cable, power extension cord and open a bank account. In the mean time a bit more surfing and then its off to sleep already.

Missing all,
Az

Perth - The First 24hrs

2009-06-13T17:56:00.003+08:00

Hi all,

I guess this will be the bet way for a while for you Guys to follow on my progress here in Perth, Australia. Figured out that I will do my best to update on this blog so you guys can find out things have been, since making calls and such is really a luxury from here.

First and foremost thanx to all who made their way to the airport the other day, realli din have to and at the end of the day it did make it a bit harder for me to go off. But I took it surprisingly well, cos I know I will be back sooner rather than later. However, its still hard to leave everything you know and you have come to know, for someplace unknown.

The flight was smooth, and made smoother through Krisworld of course, watched Race to Witch Mountain and Paul Blart: Mall Cop, as well as Chris Rock's stand up comedy. Landed and went to sleep at my parents rented apartment about 1 plus, had time to read a few letters, but decided to save the rest for later. Did not have too good a night, cause my stomach bothered me again.

Woke up early today and started with shopping for furniture for my new room, which I hope to have pictures of, soon. Im living at this walk up apartment place called Moondine Valley, a really quiet corner in this suburb called Herdsman's Parade. Living with another 25 year old Australian called Colby. Well more info on him and the place when I actually spend my first day there tomorrow.

I chose to remain at home cos my mom and dad and their friends went out for dinner at my mom's ex-colleagues house. Just wanted to spend time alone and also rest my stomach. Also, wanna see how it feel like to be alone. Its quite scary, not cos Im alone, but just that I am mentally alone like not realli any friends and such here, and of cos missing the comfort zone that I usually have at home. But I guess the start is always the hardest?

Other than that I also managed to see Marcus walking down th street at UWA, of all the people in the world. Ha. If you guys have anything just get me thru facebook, or email, and you can get me at my new number at +61450496282. Just leave me an sms ok?

Missing all of you.
Az

In You I Trust

2009-04-16T12:32:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was a good day I felt, the team played decently, not really close to what I know we can do, but I was certain when I left the pitch that we improved on the things we had wanted to work on before this. So that in itself is good, regardless of the score.

On the other end of things, Man U managed to break the curse of the the dragao stadium in Portugal to come out slim 1-0 but deserving winners for sure. I was a bit worried when I heard that Fletch was injured but Anderson did really well, and one could not help but laugh when he shrugged his shoulders in a "what did i do wrong?" pose when he was taken out near the end of the match. But he was immense, really was.

Home as always, is never a place I want to be nowadays, I really feel there is not better time than now to get away from all this, but it will have to wait. Its really sad how the family has turned out to be and has been a real disappointment to me. I wish I STILL wanted to change things, but I gave up on that idea a long time ago. The more I think about it, the more my blood boils but its ok, one can only do so much i guess. Especially when the true leadership in the family is lacking, the others who actually cannot help but realise that they will never have the leverage to do things. Writing about this is already making me so angry.

Oh well, its ok. I am grateful for the presence of God, for He never abandons you no matter what.

In God, I always trust.

Out.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

2009-04-14T11:27:00.003+08:00

Oh man time really flies, and we are already into our second game tomorrow. What can I say, the previous week was not too bad a start, I feel we could have done better, but I would still say that it is a better start performance wise as compared to the previous two years. But other than that as I always say, its not how we start but really how we finish that matters.

Lots of problems have come my and the team's way and suffice to say we are a team that is hurting. To me not necessarily a bad thing if we have the character to overcome it, all these obstacles will be for the better.

Other than that I have been planning things I hope to leave as soon as possible really because things at home have been unbearable to say the least. The other day's dinner on sunday was seriously the last straw and it just assures me that leaving is the right thing. I think its really tough to be faced with so much pressures and to return home only for things to get worse. Don't get me wrong i am not some emo-filled teenager anymore, everything I speak here is just that, as bad as it is. I realli hope to get a fresh start come June.

Other than that, I am planning to climb Mount Kinabalu on 1 Jun, as a way to end of my time here in Singapore. I have always wanted to climb it but never really had the time, so I am glad that I will finally have the opportunity to do so. Plus a spot of white water rafting. All this with my uncle. I really feel that I derive so much joy from the ppl whom I am not suppose to be close to but I am really glad for them.

Other than that, its back to the pitch, and another game in hand. Hope will have time to blog about it, but I just wanna say that no matter what, I will never stop believing and pushing on. Its one if not THE toughest season I have had but I have never been more determined.

Out.

Back in the Day

2009-03-29T22:46:00.003+08:00

I remember a much simpler time when me and my brothers were simply mad about wrestlgin and took every night we had together as an opportunity to hold wrestling matches in the small room that we shared together. There was barely any space to do much but I loved those times cos we had so much fun together. Just as brothers should. Seems such a long time ago, was about 12 yrs ago I think.

I remember driving my parents crazy as they kept coming into the room everytime they heard a thud from our room, which was probably one of us slamming the other into the matress, which was of course the ring.

Now things are so different, so fractured, and truth be told, is a large reason why going to Australia is the right thing to do for me. I come home to a much nicer house nowadays, big and spacious with my own room. But deep inside it realli hurts and I know that a house doesn't make a home. I miss having brothers. And a family. I just keep quiet but with everytime I have alone, I always tend to think about how things are so cruelly abnormal now it just doesn't make sense anymore. I miss those days, what I'd do to get them back.

Out.

I believe

2009-03-28T00:44:00.002+08:00

Time passes too fast. So many things to do, yet sometimes just not enough time to finish them. I have been having some weird-ass sleeping and waking times, but overall its been fine. I'm gonna be helping out with the Metta school underprivileged children in terms of soccer coaching so I hope thats gonna be a great experience. Rite now, its basically just lots of coaching, but its been the best experience ever, coaching a competitive team and then shifting into my developmental mode at Siglap CSC.

Other than that, here we go again. I believe. I believe.

I BELIEVE.

Out.

2009-03-03T21:24:00.002+08:00

The past week has been an eventful one, and suffice to say a satisfying one, but I hope what it has done in the meantime is to whet the appetite of all those involved, to realise that the quest for history and eventually reaching it is an amazing feeling.

Although some other events really soured things from me, I refuse to allow it to get me down, and instead I will believe, as i always have, that God is Great and He will definitely know whats best. However, I am certain that what I am walking away from within 12 weeks will be a good decision in the end.

Now that the dust has settled, I can only wish for greater success, greater effort and greater hunger and desire for what I and the team want at the end of these 3 months.

Out.

Lessons Learnt

2009-02-25T06:25:00.003+08:00

I have been awake since 345 in the morning, its 625 am now and I still can't sleep. As in my brains too busy, still buzzing from the thoroughly enjoyable match, so absorbing, and reflecting where man u and inter went wrong and what they did right. Besides that I am also thinking about Friday's cross country. It really is the beginning of the end, as I come into my last 12 weeks with the team. Almost.

Man 5 seasons just fly by like nothing, but I guess through all the difficulties I have learnt many things among them:

1) The importance of admitting when your wrong, and apologising for it, even to your own players
2) The role of the management and how impt it is to cement a trustworthy and healthy relationship
3) How football is actually simple in essence
4) How football management is a much more complex issue
5) Marketing and its importance in drawing the crowd
6) How no two teams are the same and no two players are the same
7) The fact that players can achieve so much if you are willing to push them and dare to demand more from them
8) The lack of control you have on the other side of the touch line as a coach
9) How a players big-game mentality sometimes has no correlation to her skill
10) How important it is to have a good wingman, which in this case is Mr Lim Wei Quan, truly a class act
11) And perhaps, most important of all, how a person/team with heart will "beat" any team with talent any day

My two cents worth, hmmm i realli need to sleep soon.

Out.

2009-02-22T11:45:00.002+08:00

Another week, another headache. Most of this week was good, but as always things just have habit of biting u in the ass and reminding u that things are not that good after all. I am grateful for the rest that is coming up for the next three weeks.

Most importantly, I gotta constantly remind myself that its not the end of the world and got to work on things to make it better. At times I really wonder how come I dont really have white hair and all, considering the amount of stress that I go thru. But I am happy I can take a break from games and work on making things better.

On a brighter note, I read a post today which really made my day, and it din realli have anything to do with me, but it felt good reading it.

The coming week should be better, lots of things to do, but it will be better if I want it to be. Looking forward to the mid-week match with Inter and the carling cup final at the weekend. Only thing is that I really cannot tahan the late nights much, like yesterday when i slept through half time and the first 15 min of the second half cos I was so tired. But the way man u is playing now, I just wanna watch every match and see them through.

Other than that, its my first free sunday in close to month so I am gonna make the most of it.

Out.

2009-02-16T12:50:00.002+08:00

The past week has just been busy but it has been a blast. Many thanx to the people who have done one thing or another in preparing for my bday, I really coulnt ask for more for my last birthday here in Singapore. I am pretty sure next year onwards itll be somewhere else. Haha there are many thanks and many many things to write about but I will just leave it at that. Just know that I treasure everything that was done for me even if it was a small gesture like a wish. Thank you so much I won't forget my 25th.

To be frank I felt more fantastic celebrating it with my team and my friends then I did with my family, who din realli seem to be bothered by it. But they also surpassed my expectations in getting a cake, cos I din really expect it. But events on Saturday just underlined why its not worth staying in Singapore. Because at the end of the day there is really nothing to come back to. If home is where the heart is, then I am pretty sure its not here.

Looking forward, I think this week and the next will be slightly less stressful and all, hopefully can get a break from the matches and consolidate for the future. Catch up with you all real soon.

Out.

Decisions

2009-02-04T10:25:00.002+08:00

I spent most of last night in a start stop sleep, not being able to really put my mind to rest.Recent events in the team have had me stumped, unable to decide how to proceed. I guess that's the problem sometimes when you are dealing with players who first and foremost are not players, they are students, daughters, and some even athletes of other sports. As such, one has to know how much commitment you can draw from them, and where you draw the line between the commitment needed from the athlete and the leeway one must give to the athlete bearing her other commitments in mind.

I guess actually I am not very confused about it, but rather the fear that I may drive away a decent player haunts me.

But at the end of the day, I have to do it. These are the type of decisions that need to be made by a coach.

Out.

Macpherson Market

2009-01-29T01:32:00.002+08:00

Today I made another trip to Macpherson market with Mini and Nat to eat over there. Hmm the food is nothing absolutely special but I just like the feel of the place, no nonsense but just an orgy of the senses, its always great to eat there. And I tell you the dessert is world class, as Mini kindly reminded me, I'm not gonna find the dessert like this in Australia.All the more I should eat it all here!

On another note though, it was super cold cos of the wind, I couldnt believe that I was actually shivering while eating.

And on one last note, I saw three ambulances with blinkers on on the way home, merely a 20 min ride.So weird. Hmmm.

Training today was ok, I'm glad the girls enjoyed themselves, though there is much to be concerned from my point of view. I hope things will improve by Feb 11, that's my target for the next evaluation. Either way, as i mentioned, the important thing is that we are not lacking in effort.

Out.

Back

2009-01-28T11:39:00.004+08:00

Hey all,

I guess you must be as surprised to see this as I am. But I just realised that I better write in here more often before I'm leaving. Yep, for those who don't know I will be leaving for Australia for my masters, and in all probability I do not intend to comeback if the opportunity to stay arises over there.

There's lots of reasons to stay and lots of reasons to go, I wouldn't say that one set is more compelling than the other. But I guess one reason why I really wanna go is cos I feel that I need to make something drastic, to reach where I wanna reach. I think in terms of what I have wanted to do, I have achieved it to a satisfactory level over here. I am grateful that my studies have been decent, best in years realli, and the most important thing was that I enjoyed every single moment of it, doing the whole course has been great, and I owe my good friend Gerard so much for being a big brother and pulling me through, providing the encouragement I need to get thru the whole course even in the most trying of times, such as in 2007.

Things at coaching have also been great, I feel blessed with what I have achieved, but I also know that I have overstayed my welcome, and will need to prove myself in other more challenging pastures, such as overseas, where I will have to work twice as hard to prove that I can do it as well as the local coaches. But I am prepared to.

I hope I can meet up with the important people in my life before I go, and I hope I can somehow take the most important parts of Singapore, put it in a bag and bring it along with me. There are not many things that I feel need to come along with me, but there are things which I wish to never let go.

From now on, I hope to write more often here, as the countdown begins. I hope those of you who have not heard from me, can look me up here or thru any other avenue, hope I can meet up with you before I go.

Alright dats all now, back to my book on fergie.

Out.

Thank(less)

2008-12-10T06:24:00.000+08:00

Seriously sometimes its fucking thankless it realli is. There is a huge disconnect in me, and I dont reallli like living with it, yet what to do I dont realli think I can live without it as well. It sucks realli sucks and I just gotta get it out. I have had a sleepless nite, and im so tired but I cant sleep, not cos of anything, not cos we lost, or cant win a game, its just cos I hate it, I hate that disconnect that exists, I hate that I cant get the respect or care or understanding that is needed.

Somehow though, I know I am asking for it.Whats the use of reading so extensively but being unable to be it.

Kody

2008-12-02T21:17:00.003+08:00

Hmmm, after much thinking I finally decided I will come back here, and try and write as frequently as possible in my last half a year here in Singapore. I dont realli wanna recap on stuff but just wanna say that im realli frustrated by all the stuff dats going on in the team, its realli shite and most of it i guess although cant be help, is still not very palatable to me. I realli dunno how next year is gonna be and i fear to think about it.

All i know is dat i dont want another 2007, pls not another 2007, i cannot take such a thing. its not dat i cant take failure, I think ive failed many many times, but i just cannot take failing on your own terms, meaning conjuring up your own failure, it WAS and IS still too much for me to take.

Right now, things are so uncertain, but one thing is for sure, come the end of May I will have to make my way cos I realli feel that I have overstayed my welcome in the school and in the country, and i feel it is just time i leave all this behind to find a truer answer and calling in life.

So just pls hand me the bottle.
I think im lonely now.

Out.

Be A Man

2008-06-08T22:45:00.001+08:00

Hmmmm, I think sometimes I really need to stop and ask myself if I am doing the right thing.

Right now, I don't think I am.

Out.

Uhuh Uhuh - I Like It

2008-06-05T01:40:00.003+08:00

Seriously.

I dont know whether to laugh or to cry.

But that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Out.

VJSG DSA Trials 2008

2008-05-30T17:46:00.003+08:00

My Word of thanks

2008-05-19T22:35:00.004+08:00

I think that many must be wondering why I havent said nothing for so long despite prob the one thing that I have wanted to attain all this while come true. Well, thing is I havent realli had time to process everything that has happened, and I dont think I can realli do any justice to the experience by puttingit in words.

But one thing I wanna do is to thank the people who made it possible.

In no particular order:

1) Mininho, the best vice-captain, friend, co-captain and running mate ever
2) Beng, for his amazing dedication and drive, plus being the one person whom i can crap absolutely anything with
3) The 2 Mr Tans for everything
4) Farah, for sticking through with us and helping me amazingly throughout
5) The year 2s, inclusive of the ppl like Viv, who helped with the scouting, Jo with her journalistic work, Jas, who came down so frequently, and Jing for helping with the post-its
6) The alumni, for the amazing amazing support u have shown, you are seriously the greatest bunch of girls ever and i hope you keep supporting us all the way
7) The girls:

Kuan Ren
Nat
Xiang
Bob
Lolo
Sne
Pei Qi
Azlin
Jie Min
Grace
Potz
Amelia
Wan Xin
Joan
Bethany
Xin Yi
Sherlyn
Sock Keng
Yi Xiu
Sabrina
Yan Bing
Gen
Pei Yi
Mel
Lisa
Grace Ling
Aline

Thank you for evrything girls, I realli cannot put into words how i feel about you guys, and I owe everything to you guys, I just want each and everyone of you to know that you have made a opstive and profound difference to my life and this story would not have been complete without you. I mean this to every single one on this list, thank you for everything realli.

8) To the coaches who have provided me with the encouragement, from VJ and from the other schools like Mr Sulaiman from RJ, my good friend Gerard and Gavin's dad
9) To the SAJC soccer girls for showing wat true football is all about, for pushing us all the way and for showing such admirable spirit throughout, I realli realli respect you lot and you bring glory to the school and the sport, although results may not have turned out your way, I hope you know you guys are winners in my book, if dat counts at all. We will meet again, God willing.
10) To anyone else who has helped me in one way or another
11) To you, for standing by me through thick and thin and giving me hope all this while, I could not have done this without you, you know who you are I am sure
12) To God, for forgiving me for my weaknesses and loving me in spite of everything I do not to deserve it.

Hmmm, im pretty sure in my rushed state I would have forgotten somebody and I do apologise for dat.

Lastly, just as an afterthought, I just wanna remind everyone that you should never forget who helped u in your success, I was a bit upset that the efforts of the coaches were overlooked by certain ppl whom i thought would not overlook it, but well its ok cos I know there are other who didn. Dats all, I wanna move on from this, though it deeply hurts me. But its never been about me.

Thank you to all who didn forget me, and for ppl who sent me those msgs of encouragement, it has helped me through so much and I will never forget you.

Out.

2008-05-12T10:12:00.002+08:00

Its still hard to believe that it has almost been a year, and now we are back again at the finals. It was just yesterday when I woke up with nothing to do, no training, and most importantly with no gold medal in hand. I could not even feel sad cos I was just so empty, and there were so mnay thoughts running in my head dat it felt like there were none at all, ever had that feeling?

But now, about a year on, here I am, on the cusp of preparing for another final with the same team on the same pitch. I am sure you will ask me, can we win? My answer is yes, of course we can. We have a strong team, a strong bench, fire in our bellies and love in our hearts. Look for any championship winning team, and you will find just that.

Will we win? Well that is something that I have almost no say over. Tactics aside, there is not much that I can really do once the players cross over that white line and onto the pitch. I will do what I can, and the players will do what they can, other than dat, I can't say much.

Oh well, its coming soon, and things are going fine I believe, I have so much in my head but not really very motivated to write about it now, will catch up soon with what has happened.

Out.

I Know We Can

2008-05-07T00:10:00.001+08:00

Every street is dark
And folding out mysteriously
Where lies the chance we take to be
Always working
Reaching out for a hand that wecan't see

Everybody's got a hold on hope
It's the last thing that's holding me

Invitation to the last dance
Then it's time to leave
But that's the price we pay when we deceive
One another/animal mother
She opens up for free

Everybody's got a hold on hopeI
t's the last thing that's holding me

Look at the talkbox in mute frustration
At the station
There hides the cowboy
His campfire flickering on the landscape
That nothing grows on
But time still goes on
And through each life of misery

Everybody's got a hold on hope
It's the last thing that's holding me

I heard this song today on scrubs, i think that show really rockscos in spite of all the humor, the lessons are so profound, and I am glad I get towatch it everyday at 2300 on Starworld, so much better now that I have something to look forward to something after a long day. Love the story, and this song is realli nice, by a band called "Guided By Voices".

I believe, so much, and I am looking forward to tomorrow. We can do it. I know we can.

Out.

240

2008-05-04T00:14:00.002+08:00

Today has been absolutely tiring, and thing is I am still awake and have been studying for the past 3 hours, well that is until now. Today was a decent day, glad to see the match went our way in the end, and together with it everything good that comes. Now its all about wednesday and what we can do.

As I have always said, in knock-out situations, the form-book goes out of the window, so it is absolutely crucial to take NOTHING for granted and to up the level and the ante one more up. It just hit me, I have less than 240 hours left with this team, and I need to make the most out of it.

On another note, I hate pre-match days cos of the bouts of insomnia I go through. I tried everything I could short to taking sleping pills, but only fell asleep at 230am yesterday and was awake by 535am. Sad. I wish I was not so anxious and that I could have a good night's sleep. Haha.

Oh well, the next few days are gonna be crucial, I hope God watches over the team.

Out.

2008-04-27T12:50:00.002+08:00

I feel very disappointed in myself because I cannot get the best out of you, we've known each other for so long, yet I cannot do it, and I don't know why, and I guess that's just something I need to accept and live with, just that I am so disappointed, and its not a nice feeling to have. I remember Mr Tan, and how he changed me from being a complete ass of a player, to the captain of a championship winning team, he got the best out of me, and he changed the way I played soccer. Well he didn't change it completely, but he allowed me to use my strengths, and added more dimensions to my play, so that I became a better player.

Sometimes I seriously doubt myself, as to how I can bring the best out of you.

It really hurts when I can't, and I dunno how much harder I can try.

Out.

2008-04-24T22:58:00.002+08:00

I was thinking for much of today, what Superman's real superpower was. Was it his speed? Was it his strength? I think that wat makes him superman, is that even though he was saving the world, he never once asked to be saved himself.

With every passing day, I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, having to bear so much, and unwilling to let it drop off my shoulders, cos I know that nobody else should deserve to carry it but me. I have all the energy to do so much, yet I cant seem to get the fortitude to type it all down, cos its just so tiring for me.

I know some of you are reading this, and I hope you understand where I am coming from. I am not hoping for pity nor affirmation or any shit like dat, im just saying wats on my mind. So buzz off.

I ask myself, how the hell do you try and stay positive when all you wanna do is tell everybody to fuck off?

Out.

2008-04-21T00:30:00.002+08:00

Well, what can i say, at least i tried. And as I always say, failure is part of life rite? But never fail because of the lack of effort. And well i dont think this time round i lacked the effort.

Indeed,

to tango,

it takes two.

FUCK.

2008-04-19T01:17:00.002+08:00

Trying hard to sleep but its so painful, I'm sorry if i have to sound pitiful here, but there is realli no other place.

No one to talk to, no one to turn to, it sux sometimes, but that's my life in a nutshell realli. I guess I am used to it, just sometimes its a little unbearable and all.

I realli have no energy to even type it down, its all a mess.

seriously, fuck.

FUCK.

2008-04-12T10:17:00.002+08:00

Things really came to a head yesterday, as I was driving home, I kept toying with some stupid thoughts in my head that haven't surfaced for hmmmm the past 5 years I would say. Guess that I'm just realli tired of so many things, and more than anything else I am severely disappointed.

Thankfully I had a shoulder to lean on, and it realli made it clear to me as to what was realli important. Sometimes it can be hard and lonely, and having Beng last year was a Godsend cos he realli helped me thru things. Unfortunately this year is not the same, but I believe to a certain extent, in terms of my support system its def better.

Well, important thing is dat I'm up now, and even though I still don't feel 100 percent, I still think this is something I must finish, even if it saps me to my bone, I need to finish it.

Out.

2008-04-04T00:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes your one dream, when it comes true, turns out to be the biggest nightmare. At least that's what I feel now, I have no idea how else to say it. I was trying so hard to hold it all together, because I knew I had to get things across, and get things done. But in the end, I could not hold it any longer, and tonight must have been the first time I was left crying, alone in my car, letting it all go.

I am so tired, and so worn out, so discouraged, so demoralised, so disappointed in myself. Its getting so hard, I'm just waiting for the next blow to come.

I really hope to get uplifted soon. So sorry for this post and the one before, but I need to say it, cos its hard to try to be strong when in fact you're probably the weakest one around.

Out.

2008-04-01T11:52:00.002+08:00

I think I was just so tired of saying the same things, and its really frustrating, when you keep telling and telling and nothing gets through. Its frustrating and more importantly its extremely sapping, and then going to work and then coming home and getting shouted at. Things couldnt be more wrong. Then comes the SMS to remind me to finish something up, it was just so wrong-timing.

I am tired. Really.

I have run out of words.

Out.

2008-03-25T00:36:00.001+08:00

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

One Team

2008-03-16T21:42:00.002+08:00

All i can say is Thank You God.

Cos at the end of last year, I never though I could never find a better group of people and that I would not be able to move from Jaslyn's batch, having been through so much with them. They were so amazing and i will never forget them.

But eventually, just like anything in life, it had to come to an end, and I'm so happy that they did well for their As and everybody has had their happy ending.

And nowis the time are the new people in my life, the year 2s, Potz, year 1s, and melissa. The camp was a wonderful experience, with Farah and Jaslyn's help, it went so smoothly, so I wanna thank them. Also Jo, who helpd with the gauntlet. and Sam, Jasmin, Eileen and Viv wat can i say? I have no words that can truly explain and justify my gratitude to you guys.

But the moment belongs to VJSG 07/08 all of you realli pulled together and grew so much closer as a team, and dats wats important. Medals? What are they, you laugh, you cheer, you cry, people are happy, people get disappointed. But medals, and their effects are temporary.

But VJSG?

It is forever. So remember that, we are all winners in our own way. I remember a time when i used to think a medal was everything. But i was wrong. the team is.

So here's my tribute to 27 people (in no particular order) who made my march hols, this was the best camp VJSG's ever had, and i will never forget it.

Kuan Ren
Nat
Wan Xin
Jie Min
Xiang Ling
Lorena
Ulrica
Bethany
Grace
Joan
Grace Ling
Sherlyn
Sock Keng
Xin Yi
Azlin
Genevieve
Aline
Yan Bing
Lisa
Sabrina
Melissa
Pei Yi
Yi Xiu
Amelia
Bethany
Sneha
Potz

Thank you, im honoured to know all of you.

ONE TEAM.

Out.

2008-03-10T11:09:00.002+08:00

Wow, its been a long time, but finally have some time to squeeze, things have been an absolute rush, with schoolwork, training, matches, lotsa and lotsa tuition and even giving two talks at St. Stephen, which was a great experience.

First off the talk, was quite nerve-wrecking cos I was given only a day's notice to get everything ready. Furthermore, it was a talk for primary 3 kids, about Sports Psychology, hmmm, preparing for Sec 3s, was bad enough, but it was even worse for the 9-year-olds, cos I had to realli water so muchd own, at times I wondered if I could get a point across. But other than the noisy, as in realli noisy hyperactive kids, I was very happy that I got to talk to such a big crowd, and I hope it will be a steping stone for the future. Furthermore, I even got paid, and realli well as well. So dats always a plus.

Other than that, has been a mad rush, sleeping minimal hours for the past few days, but it has been better since. For the first time in 4 years, I also woke up late for training, which was realli disappointing for myself. Cant believe it and I think I need to get a new alarm clock. Cos my curent phone is useless. Of course other than that I need to make a concerted effort to sleep more on training days.

Finally the school holiday is here, and although itws not much of a holiday, I'm looking forward to it cos of the 3rd edition of the VJSG camp. With the seniors helping out, its even better, and will be easier for me to conduct since I will not have beng around to help me this time. Besides that a good one day one night holidaywill be good as well.

Hmmm, tats about it, I have a veyr busy monday ahead of me.

Out.

2008-02-25T23:23:00.002+08:00

You chose the wrong person to mess with. The past is the past and perhaps you are entitled to gloat over it, because well you came out on top after all, but to showcase it as if it were some sort of brilliant once-in-a-lifetime moment that you fully deserved?

Arrogance.

And you know what, I thank you for it. Thank you for now putting the fire in my belly, and for lighting the flames under my butt, cos now, I have more reason than ever to work harder. You took a wrong step, and you chose the wrong day and the wrong neigbourhood to be messing around with.

Asleep no more, and coming for you.

Out.

24

2008-02-13T12:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was like any normal day, I think when you're 24 and all, things pretty much stay the same, and I don't anticipate myself feeling any different till I reach 30, if I reach 30 I must humbly say. Sorry not being pessimistic or anything just saying.

But where I am now, i couldn't be happier, well I could I guess, but based on what I have now, things really seem to fit, and I am happy that I spent the whole year of my life last year doing things that I really wanted to do. I will alwyas look back upon the last year as a moment where life gained much more clarity, and I hope that it will keep getting clearer as time goes by.

Thanks to all those who remembered, for all the SMSs, I cant believe that so many people actually remembered this time around, even those whom I havent heard for the longest time from. And reading the notes and letters, these are what birthdays are all about, knowing that over the past year, you have made a difference to those around you. Gifts are always nice but I always think words and actions have a certain poignance and permanence to them. But I appreciate everything given to me, tangible or not.

Looking ahead, this year will be another watershed year, because by the time my bday comes around again, I would have finished my education, and be almost done with my experience with the greatest team ever, VJSG. Hmmm, scary cos I would realli have to step out of my comfort zone, but the purpose of life is indeed to grow. I will have to say "see ya later" to so many people, but I hope it will never be a goodbye.

But that's another story for another time, now what I have ahead of me are 364 days to make a difference, and to live life to the fullest.

I know a lot of people say this, but I think those of you who know me, know that I am one of the few who will realli do it.

Out.

Daffodils

2008-02-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

Past two days have been great, to be honest Im realli drained right now, but I cant complain, cos I feel realli fulfilled. I guess somethings can realli restore the faith in you in so many ways. Im just glad I took the time to do it, and haiz, I dunno what to say but then sometimes I realli feel unworthy of things given to me, and its only lately that I am realli counting my blessings.

I remember in the past, how spoilt and ungrateful and arrogant I was, always thinking like the whole world only revolved around me. I dont think Im an angel right now, but Im glad my journey over the past few years, starting in NS until now, has realli been able to put things into perspective.

Even now, most of the time, I must admit despite how I carry myself, there are still certain doubts which linger, as I ask myself if I am realli worthy of the things that are given to me, especially of late.

BUT, I think most imptly, I believe that things happen for a reason, and if the chance comes, grab it with both hands, accept it and run with it.

Hmm, very random, I know, but realli not in the mood to write very cohesively so just going with what I got in my head.

On a last note, I think sometimes most of the problems and worry I feel is cos I feel that I need to help everybody and keep everybody happy.

But now, I realise that saving you is more than enough, just as you save me.

Dats all for now, i know this sounds crap, but I honestly miss class cos of the short week this week.

Out.

2008-02-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

SOmetimes I realli wonder if I can be a good elder brother at all. Today came home, and was on the phone with KR when my dad started shouting at my brother, I asked KR to hold on, and asked my dad what the problem was. It seems that he was asking my brother to do something, which had to be done immediately. and my brother refused to budge even though it would take less than 30seconds of his time.

In frustration, I went to do it myself, and I kept asking is the reason why my brothers are like that is cos I wasnt or rather am not a good elder brother. I think nowadays I am a lot less rebellious and am willing to spend more time with the family. Funny though, my brothers are so different. One is missing 95% of the time, he rarely comes home, and supposedly has to stay in even though he is a clerk at a nearby army camp. The other is always rude to my parents and has no respect for people's belongings. I guess I shouldnt be saying all this here, but heck I guess better than holding it in.

I guess I wish I could be a much more successful person who is worthy of being respected, but oh well, its ironic, yet rather common that sometimes you seek solace and reassurance from people you leats expect it from. And the people who give a damn most about you are sometimes ironically not the people you expect to. But its fine. I have come to realise that God blesses all of us in different ways, and cant take things for granted. He makes our paths cross, guides us with His hand to make decisions, for very apt reasons. And its up to us to recognise opportunity when we see it, and do our best with whateva we have.

Dats all I am gonna say, I know tomorrow will be a better day.

Out.

Munich Air Disaster

2008-02-04T15:15:00.000+08:00

Today is the 55th year and oneth day since the Munich Air Disaster, I've read a lot about it, but don't think I can truly ever comprehend the meaning of being a Man U supporter when that horrible accident happened. Can realli sympathise with Sir Bobby C, who has to relive it every once a year everytime it comes around again.

I reember reading once about how Chelsea said they wanted to become the biggest club in the world. But being the biggest club in the world is not just simply about selling the most shirts, or even winning the most trophies.Its so much more than that. Its about legends, history and tradition. Although Liverpool is remembered for winning many Euro championships, the true liverpool fans always speak so greatly of Anfield, the Kop End, and the dynamic duo of Bob Paisley and Bill Shankly. For Man U, it has always been the busby babes, and how like a phoenix from the ashes of Munich, they rose again to win the 1968 European Cup just a few years after the horrific accident decimated the team. People will remember the likes of Best, Charlton, Keane, Cantona and Beckham. Wat about Chelsea? Perhaps just how they bought the premiership. Arsenal too although forming a legend on their own, is still a long way off the Mancunian and Merseyside Reds.

I guess I will never realli know how it felt to be a Man U supporter at at time, and I dont realli want to. But more importantly, Im proud of the fact that they regrouped and won it for the people who lost their lives, in 1968.

Why do we fall?
So we can learn to get up again.

Out.

The Great Escape

2008-01-31T01:20:00.000+08:00

Just a random thought for the day.

Hmmmmm, strangely though, I am realli looking forward to it. Well ok lar not strangely but well its just a weird feeling after so long?

Nevertheless, I would rather it be there than nothing at all.

Indeed, its the Great Escape.

Out.

2008-01-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

Past week has been a better one, with the gradually very different workload, it was easier to concentrate on stuff. I'm realli glad things have settled themselves out, I realise sometimes my biggest weakness is dat I care too much, and u noe sometimes u just wanna be a person who does not take things too patiently, and remain objective. But oh wells, it has been rather hard, and sometimes it realli makes one seem vulnerable.

But well, its been great, class has been fun, i love the discussion and banter that goes around in between all of us, and besides, talking to Gerard has been super enlightening. With all the young selfish emo ppl around me, its nice to have someone to reason with and also to tell me whats right and wrong. And with the experience he has, at least I know he has walked that path and is able to relate to everything im talking about.

Saturday nites have again proven to be like a bubble, something which takes me away from all the realities and the fast pace of life. Yesterday was quiet yet I would not have it any other way. Im so grateful for it and everything that comes with it, pls dont let it end.

Out.

Note to Self

2008-01-22T23:47:00.000+08:00

Two things that I have to remind myself now before its too late:

Don't be Insecure

No matter what people think of me, and those who think less of me, I should have faith in my own abilities and know that I am doing the right thing. It is almost impossible to please everybody, and as much as you wanna be the hero, that doesnt depend on you. You win some, you lose some, Azrul. So don't be so insecure, as long as you know deep in your heart that you're doing the right thing, then its fine. Remember, you have no control over how people think of you, you can try and influence them, but you cannot make their mind up for them.

You are not God

As much as you wish you had control over things, sometimes, they are just not like that. Learn to accept things as they are, and move on. The more you try and exert your control over something, the worse it will become. Go with the ebb and flow at times, and you will realise that it will benefit you in the long term. If everything was within your control then living would not be living at all. Learn to let go, and learn to live with the inconsistencies and unpredictability of life. Sometimes life might throw you a curve ball, you swing and u miss. But always remember you will learn from it and get better next time.

Sorry, just had to write this down and ensure that I remember it. I came across something today which realli set me thinking, and I dont wanna think about it anymore.

The truth hurts.

Unconditionally, Az, you promised them.

Out.

These Small Hours

2008-01-20T16:54:00.000+08:00

After the long long week where I barely slept at all, Im proud to say that I am finally done with it and can afford to take a breather. Phew. I hope I did ok, but I am just happy that I am finished, at least can take a one week break of just normal school before its another rush into the 1st of Feb.

I really felt like giving up especially on Friday, with the mid-placement review and all. But thank God it went smoothly although my journaling wasnt realli very comprehensive. However the session I had with Emily made me feel a lot clearer about things and I was encouraged I was on the right track. Also, dat day saw me having a big bust up with TYH, and I was realli upset by the whole conundrum. But told myself to just be righteous about the whole situation, I realli hope things will be sussed out for everyone's benefit.

But yest was a great end to the hectic week, so thank you, i realli had a great time and well at times I realli ask myself why I cannot be like any normal 23 year old, but then I guess I dont realli mind, and in fact im enjoying my "difference" from the normal crowd. But yes, I had a nice time, ended it off with Man U winning, so it was all good. I hope to do it soon again, and it realli reminded me again that the simplest things are the best things to do. I went to sleep knowing I had had a good day, and suddenly, the toil of the previous few days just faded into the distance.

Other than dat I believe this week will be a rather nervous one with the Sec 4s getting back their results, so shall hope for the best. And with so many juniors, its kinda inevitable that some will leave us. But I guess im more prepared this year, for something inevitable.

I hope to get some extra sleep as well, going to watch the last few episodes of heroes season 1 later.

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over

let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember
how it feels
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate
time falls away, in these small hours, these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end
our lives are made in these small hours
these little wonders, these twists & turns of fatetime falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget the way i feel right now
in these small hours these little wonders
these twists & turns of fatethese twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
with these small hours, still remain, they still remain
these little wonders these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

Something that will remind me of yest.

Out.

Had Just About Enough

2008-01-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I am realli thinking whether I have enough energy for this. Somteims I realli think dat Im not made to do this, and the whole night (or at least most of it after 8) has been spent thinking about whether all this shizz is realli worth it. Do I realli need this?

I dont know I realli dont.

I havent been this angry or frustrated for a while. And somehow whats even more worrying is i havent felt this mentally tired in a long long while. I am just realli hanging on. I cannot believe this has to happen tonight, and I am so mentally drained but I have so much school work to do. Its ridiculous realli.

Its getting realli to a point where I dont see what I am getting out of this whole thing except for heartache.

Things have to stop, and Id rather they stop NOW.

Fuck it, seriously, go ahead call me emotional, suddenly I've realli stopped giving a damn.

Out.

4 days of madness

2008-01-13T12:20:00.000+08:00

This coming four days are gonna be a mad rush.

Sunday (today) - back to back to back tuition from 1pm - 9pm + assessment one practicum reflection (3000 words)

Monday - tuition plus project meet up plus training

Tuesday - tuition plus school plus submission date plus preparation of slides (6 presentations) and personal reflections

Wednesday - training plus school plus assessment two performance psych (2000 words)

Thursday - submission date plus back to back tuition plus mid-placement review at school

Somehow it all seems to busy, and though I feel a little tired, somehow I think all of this is worth it in the long term. Hope I can keep the energy levels up as well. But first, triple session tuition in half an hours time.

On another note, yesterday morning was a good day, then came the afternoon and certain news realli put me off, and it also put ben and mini off. Ben is a brilliant guy and for something to put him off it needs to be quite bad, so I was quite surprised when he said he was mulling over it yesterday night as well.

But well I guess things got better in the evening, playing soccer at the turf and basically just chilling with great company and yet doing something constructive as well. Later at night, told mini about when my last year would be in VJSG, and he said that his last year would only come if it were my last year. Shux man, I was realli quite flattered by it, more so because I know he realli meant it.

There are really some people who take the heart out of you, but you must have faith that there are some who will put it right back where it belongs.

Onward to the next four days, bring it on.

Out.